IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more people becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this ? How can people research this ?

People
Use synonyms
 are curious
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, they ask about the
history
Use synonyms
 of their houses. They can ask their relatives to find out the answer. The question is, there are many
people
Use synonyms
 interested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 knowing about the
history
Use synonyms
 of their houses. In my opinion, it is essential to know everything about the building where you live. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to provide the reasons for the
people
Use synonyms
 who are curious about the
history
Use synonyms
 of their building, and I am going to provide them with effective ways. First of all, there are a lot of
people
Use synonyms
keep
Correct pronoun usage
who keep
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 asking about the
history
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, nowadays the
people
Use synonyms
 are getting more interested in the
history
Use synonyms
 of their building, because they want to know who lived here before.
In addition
Linking Words
, they need to know how safe the building is.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin wants to find out the
history
Use synonyms
 of his home because he is very curious about who lived here before him
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
 he wants
know
Verb problem
to know
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 how old the building is.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many ways to find out the
history
Use synonyms
 of buildings. First way you can go to ask the
government
Use synonyms
, they might have some documents that can be helpful
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can go to the oldest library in the region, and you may find something helpful.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin went to the
government
Use synonyms
 to ask them who
lived
Verb problem
had lived
show examples
 in his house before him
,
Punctuation problem
. As
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as a result
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 found an old document that shows details about the owner before him. In the conclusion, I would argue that
people
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 have many reasons to find out about the
history
Use synonyms
 of their houses
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 is very helpful in
this
Linking Words
. Ryu Kim

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organization
The idea is good and you give reasons and ways to learn about house history. Make your points clear and one idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar. Use small, correct sentences. For example change 'there are a lot of people keep asking' to 'many people keep asking' and 'who lived here before' to 'who lived here before'.
planning
Plan before you write. Write an intro that shows what you will say, a body with two parts (reasons and ways to search), and a short conclusion.
cohesion
Use linking words to show flow: First, Also, In addition, For example, However, In conclusion.
lexical resource
Use words from a small set and try not to repeat the same phrase. Keep the words simple and clear.
content
The topic is clear and you want to show why people want to know house history.
content
You use a real life example (cousin) to show how one might check the past.
structure
There is a start, a middle and an end in your writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • archival records
  • historical significance
  • preservation
  • restoration
  • cultural heritage
  • ancestry
  • architectural features
  • heritage conservation
  • property deeds
  • local history books
  • genealogy
  • census records
  • historical societies
  • land registry
  • oral histories
  • blueprints
  • renovation
  • tax incentives
What to do next:
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