IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries invest more money to make it easier to use bicycles in cities. Why? Is it the best way to solve the transport problem? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Some countries invest a large funding to ensure the ease of
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 usage in the cities.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues that not only
it is
Correct word order
is it
show examples
 an ideal solution in terms of transportation problems in the long term, but
also
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 in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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 to the public health situation.
Firstly
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,
although
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 the benefit may not be visible immediately, the advantage of investing in the construction of
bicycle
Use synonyms
-centric cities will be manifested in the
long-term
Use the right word
long term
show examples
. Netherlands,
for example
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, has built
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cities with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cyclist-friendly infrastructures, which
centered
Replace the word
centre
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 as the main transportation. As the investment went on for decades, the citizens
reap
Wrong verb form
reaped
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 its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 of living in an area with no traffic congestion and free of air pollution from fossil fuels
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 cars and motorcycles.
As a result
Linking Words
, the long-term advantage of
cyclist-friendly
Correct article usage
a cyclist-friendly
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 city is worth the large
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, using bicycles as the main mode of transportation will allow people to avoid
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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 lifestyle, compared to those who use cars and motorcycles to commute.
Furthermore
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, as people get busier and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to do physical training, commuting
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
bicycle
Use synonyms
 is one of the solutions to maintain a healthy body.
For instance
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, office workers who are cycling to commute
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 will
burns
Wrong verb form
burn
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 more calories and
trained
Wrong verb form
train
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 more muscles on average, compared to employees with the same job who
are commuting
Wrong verb form
commute
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with
Change preposition
by
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
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.
Thus
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, investing the
city
Check wording
city's
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fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
 to ensure the accessibility of
bicycle
Use synonyms
 usage indirectly helps with the maintenance of the public health conditions. In summary, putting a significant investment
to build
Change preposition
into building
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 decent
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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 for
bicycle
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 is beneficial. Not only
it is
Correct word order
is it
show examples
 advantageous in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term to eliminate traffic congestion and air pollution, but
also
Linking Words
 a catalyst to maintain the physical
wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 of the community.

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coherence
Add another view to show why bikes in city is best and what can go wrong too. This helps the task.
coherence
Use link words better. Use for example, also, and but to join ideas.
content
The idea of long term gain is easy to see.
content
The use of a real example (the bike city) helps the point.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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