IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of internet users by age group in Canada who shopped online in 2014 and 2018.

The chart below gives information about the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of people in Canada who shopped online in the years 2014 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the start ,
while
Linking Words
 26 - 35
age
Use synonyms
group
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 had high
charts
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;
however
Linking Words
, at the final step, in the 55 - 65 both of them dropped immediately.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the early
age
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group
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, had started to shop at a high in the
year
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 2014, had 20 percentage and about 2018 was a little bit higher than the previous
year
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 and at 24 per cent. At the start, the middle-aged
age
Use synonyms
 USE SYNONYMS lifematurityold ageyouthadolescenceadulthoodboyhoodchildhooddotagegirlhood It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
Use synonyms
group
Correct article usage
The group
show examples
 had high
charts
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 in shopping staff, the 2014, the proportion was equal to 30 per cent, and about 2018, the proportion was 34 . In 35 - 45
age
Use synonyms
group
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 had the highest
charts
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 , near to other years'
charts
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 , and 2014 had 27% and the next
year
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 had the highest chart 48%. Continuing, with 45 and 55
age
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 groups shopped online in 2014 had 22 percentages and in the second
year
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, it increased to 37 per cent. From the
last
Linking Words
 point of view, in the 55 and 65
age
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group
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 , of proportion was so low in 2014, it became 11% and by about 2018, it had stayed at 17percentage. At the final, the 65-plus
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had the lowest increase it dropping to 0% and 10%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, charts, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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