IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowaday, Some people caim that public museums and art galleries will not be mated Because people people can see historical objects and works by using the computer. Do you agra as disagree?

There is a view that some
people
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 say that
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 will not be needed in the future and at the present time,
while
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 other
people
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 consider that seeing
art
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galleries
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 and
museums
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 by using
technologies
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,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I personally disagree with that, as every country must have its own
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 to
visit
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 there in real life. On the one hand, some
people
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 say that it is a better way to see
museums
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 through technology.
For example
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, using laptops or computers for just seeing the
museums
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 can be good, especially in using with 360-degree views that
people
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 can regulate the places by the way they want with a remote control. And
also
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, it has a lot of details and information in there.
As a result
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, it can bring convenience for
people
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 who prefer to stay at home and just
visit
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 websites about these
art
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galleries
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 and
museums
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 at home.
However
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, there is an opposite view that
people
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 can forget about reality and how
museums
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 are in life.
Thus
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,
people
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 should know the limits of using technology to see
art
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galleries
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 on a screen.
On the other hand
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, there are some issues with using
technologies
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 to see
museums
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.
For example
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,
people
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 who are addicted to watching or seeing
museums
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 not in reality, can have some issues like harm as
eye
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apply
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always using the screen can damage our eyes.
As a result
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,
people
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 can
also
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 forget about real
art
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museums
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 and
galleries
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, and what they look like in real life. And
also
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, they cannot explore something useful from
technologies
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 about
art
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museums
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.
However
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, using
technologies
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 can be good that as at the same time it is possible to research on Google and continue to
visit
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art
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museums
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should know about real
art
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galleries
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 and
museums
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, as it helps them to explore new mysteries. In conclusion,
although
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 using
technologies
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 for seeing
art
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galleries
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 is considered a good idea, I think
people
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 should
visit
Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
 in reality and that time they can explore for ne mysteries.

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task response
Plan the essay. Start with a clear view in the first paragraph. Then add 2-3 body parts each with a point, reason, and one clear example.
coherence cohesion
Make each sentence short and link ideas with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however'. Check that ideas flow from one part to the next.
task response
Clear view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use of contrast words like 'on the one hand' and 'however'.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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