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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates the figures for temporary migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 in four
countries
Use synonyms
 - Australia, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
, the United Kingdom, and the United
States
Use synonyms
 - in 2003 and 2006,
as well as
Linking Words
 the number of these
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in these
countries
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of these
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant growth in 2006 compared to 2003. It is
also
Linking Words
 notable that the United
States
Use synonyms
constantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
was the highest among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 remained the lowest in both years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the opposite was true for the number of these
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
. In 2003, the United
States
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 had more temporary migrant
workers
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 than the other nations, at 577,000
people
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, followed by Australia and the United Kingdom, at 152,000 and 137,000, respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 was the only one
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 did not exceed 100,000, at only 65,000. In 2006, all four
countries
Use synonyms
 increased considerably,
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 still recorded under 100,000
people
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, at 87,000.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 Australia and the United Kingdom rose to 219,000 and 266,000, respectively. The United
States
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 reached over 600,000, at 678,000, which was the highest. In terms of per 1000
people
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 in 2006, an opposite trend could be observed, with New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 at 21.1,
whereas
Linking Words
 the United
States
Use synonyms
at
Verb problem
was at
show examples
 only 2.3.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, countries, zealand, states, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temporary migrant workers
  • trends
  • absolute numbers
  • per 1,000 people
  • growth rate
  • per capita
  • labor markets
  • economies
  • significant
  • imply
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