Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
Some people argue that traditional
games
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are more effective than modern
games
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in developing
children
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's abilities. I partly agree with
this
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view because traditional
games
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are particularly useful for physical and social development,
although
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modern
games
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can
also
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improve problem-solving and strategic thinking.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, traditional
games
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can be highly effective in developing
children
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's physical and social abilities. Many traditional
activities
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require
children
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to move, cooperate with others and follow shared rules.
For example
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, outdoor team
games
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encourage
children
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to run, communicate and work together to achieve a common goal. By taking part in these
activities
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,
children
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can improve their physical fitness
while
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also
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learning cooperation and patience.
Such
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games
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can
also
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prevent
children
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from spending excessive amounts of time sitting indoors.
Therefore
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, traditional
games
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remain valuable for
children
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's
overall
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development.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, modern
games
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can
also
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help
children
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develop abilities that are useful in contemporary life. Many computer and strategy
games
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require players to solve problems, make decisions and plan several steps ahead.
For instance
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, a strategy-based game may require a child to manage limited resources and choose the most effective way to achieve a goal. These
activities
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can strengthen logical thinking and decision-making skills.
However
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, excessive gaming may reduce physical activity if
children
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spend too much time indoors.
Thus
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, modern
games
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should complement rather than completely replace traditional physical
activities
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I partly agree that traditional
games
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are better because they promote physical activity and social interaction.
Nevertheless
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, modern
games
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can
also
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develop problem-solving and strategic thinking, so
children
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can benefit from a balanced combination of both types.

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task response
Make your own view even more clear in the first paragraph. Say exactly when old games are better and when new games are useful.
task response
Give one more real example. For example, name a simple outdoor game and explain how it helps children work as a team.
task response
The ideas are clear, but you could explain why the skills from new games are important in daily life, school, or work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: old games, new games, then a final view. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links between ideas inside each paragraph. Words such as "also", "because", and "as a result" can make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph is clear. You could make it stronger by repeating your main reason in a shorter, more direct way.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear partly agree view.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: old games help the body and social skills, while new games help thinking and planning.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, an example, and an explanation.
coherence and cohesion
The start and end match well, and the reader can follow your opinion easily.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional
  • modern
  • games
  • children
  • develop
  • abilities
  • physical
  • activity
  • outdoor
  • play
  • social
  • skills
  • teamwork
  • sharing
  • understand
  • focus
  • strategy
  • problem-solving
  • low-pressure
  • interaction
  • communication
  • emotional
  • intelligence
  • online
  • critical
  • thinking
  • creativity
  • limit
  • balance
  • development
  • promote
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