IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Should school replace traditional libraries with digital ones? Post your response, giving reasons and examples?

I do believe that school should not replace traditional
libraries
Use synonyms
 with digital ones, but both limit and equal is essential. On the one hand, digital
libraries
Use synonyms
 provide a lot of resources,
such
Linking Words
 as e-books and audiobook platforms.
Also
Linking Words
, they save space and allow students to stay every time and every year.
Additionally
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, digital ones are not only accessible, but
also
Linking Words
 more
confident
Correct word choice
convenient
show examples
 for everyone.
For example
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, nowadays young people prefer digital
libraries
Use synonyms
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 them reduce stress and build more confidence.
On the other hand
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, there are significant advantages of traditional
libraries
Use synonyms
. At the outset, they offer a quiet area and
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 comfortable reflection.
Moreover
Linking Words
, local
libraries
Use synonyms
 are both a courageous focus and
enjoyable
Correct article usage
an enjoyable
show examples
 space for reading books to learn.
For instance
Linking Words
, students go to the traditional library regularly since the place is more
relaxable
Correct word choice
relaxing
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 and the students
inspiring
Wrong verb form
inspire
show examples
 them.
As a consequence
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, they do not face slow connection, Wi-Fi and Internet, and they learn
free
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many necessary insights. All in all, both sides have valid arguments.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe paper resources
much
Verb problem
are much
show examples
 more useful to learn. If we choose
positively
Replace the word
positive
show examples
 and accessible ways, they can be highly beneficial.

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task management
Your plan shows you want to talk about both sides and give a view. Keep a clear view in the first part.
language
Gram er and word use are a bit off. Use simple, exact words and check each line.
coherence
Link ideas smoothly. Use words like also, but, so to show how ideas side by side.
content
Give clear examples. Use a real reason with simple facts or acts.
content
You try to discuss both sides and end with a view.
coherence
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
task
The end restates a view and has a sense of finish.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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