IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people prefer to live in a house,while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment

Some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in a
house
Use synonyms
, but there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who think that living in an apartment
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more advantages. In my opinion, I think that living in a
house
Use synonyms
 can bring more benefits compared to any
disadvantages
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 of living in a
house
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
firstly
Fix capitalization
Firstly
show examples
, living in a
house
Use synonyms
 is not
cost effective
Use the right word
cost-effective
show examples
Punctuation problem
. .in
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
In
in other words
Linking Words
,
houses
Use synonyms
 have some facilities
specifically
Punctuation problem
, specifically
show examples
yard
Correct article usage
a yard
show examples
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 regular
maintenance
Punctuation problem
maintenance,
show examples
while
Linking Words
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 maintenance
also
Linking Words
 requires some
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 that
should
Verb problem
must
show examples
 be purchased and experts
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 must
be received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
payments
Punctuation problem
payments,
show examples
 so all of these
need
Verb problem
require
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of money.
Linking Words
secondly
Fix capitalization
Secondly
show examples
, living in a
house
Use synonyms
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 commuting to downtown .to more clarify, housing
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
lager
Use the right word
larger
show examples
 space rather than apartments and spaces for housing can be found simply in remote areas
such
Linking Words
 as suburbs or
countryside
Punctuation problem
countryside,
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 commuting from these areas to downtown can be challenging
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 there are fewer public transport stations in these isolated areas.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 above, I believe
people
Use synonyms
 could face serious benefits from living
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. .one
show examples
.one
Correct your spelling
One
potentially
Replace the word
potential
show examples
 advantage is that
people
Use synonyms
 have more privacy when they are living in a
house
Use synonyms
. To put it in other
way
Check wording
words
show examples
, there are distances between nearby
houses
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of space around each
house
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some disturbances
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 audio
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
show examples
 cannot be problematic among
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
Punctuation problem
. and
show examples
and for
Correct word choice
For
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people
Use synonyms
 who have children and make a lot of noise
housing
Punctuation problem
, housing
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 is the best option
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they can have their own privacy by living in a
house
Use synonyms
. Another obvious benefit is that housing can offer more
independent
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 compared to apartments. To put it simply,
houses
Use synonyms
 do not have shared walls that bring a lot of rules for
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 to live there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no restrictions for painting , extensions or garden design
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 family can
customize
Change the spelling
customise
show examples
 their own homes
according to
Linking Words
 their needs and be more independent about keeping their
house
Use synonyms
 . In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privacy in
houses
Use synonyms
 far outweighs any of the minor
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 that could result from living in a
house
Use synonyms
 .

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task response
Explain each idea more clearly and give more details or examples for both sides.
introduction conclusion
Write a clear opening that states your view, and finish with a brief conclusion that restates it.
coherence
Keep to one main idea per paragraph and use linking words to show how ideas connect.
content
The writer states a clear view that living in a house has more advantages.
organization
There are attempts to structure the essay with pros and cons.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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