Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s highly complex and rapidly changing
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
the issue of how to effectively address the problem of
crime
Use synonyms
causes an intense debate.
While
Linking Words
some believe that the best way to combat
crime
Use synonyms
is to isolate criminals in prisons, others argue that a more efficient alternative would be to educate them
instead
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explore both points of view and suggest my opinion. On the one hand, the idea of isolating dangerous social elements is very understandable.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
according to
Linking Words
statistics, the percentage of recurrent
crimes
Use synonyms
is quite high, which implies that leaving criminals among
law abiding
Use the right word
law-abiding
show examples
citizens poses
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
threat to the latter.
Secondly
Linking Words
, restriction of freedom is a means of punishment to maintain social order, and education or job training
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
something to be punished with. Many people are afraid that certain individuals will start to break the law or break it more often when not facing undesirable consequences for their actions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people often turn to
crime
Use synonyms
as a
last
Linking Words
resort, when they see no other options left.
This
Linking Words
viewpoint is proven by multiple
research
Check wording
studies
show examples
, which
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
that in
more poor
Correct word choice
poorer
show examples
and less educated regions the
crime
Use synonyms
rate is usually higher. It suggests that, if the root reasons for criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
are properly addressed, it may improve the situation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, prisoners locked in a confined space develop and maintain a specific criminal culture, which prevents those who broke the law once from amendment.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, often the criminal society corrupts the newcomers even
further
Linking Words
,
thus
Linking Words
increasing the risk of new
crimes
Use synonyms
in the future. In my opinion, the problem of
crime
Use synonyms
is multifaceted and should be addressed by different means. I strongly believe that,
while
Linking Words
education and job training are essential to prevent
crimes
Use synonyms
, prisons as a means of punishment should remain. Prevention of
crimes
Use synonyms
through educational programs for people in need and protection of citizens and punishment of criminals through confinement of the latter in prisons
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
should be used in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
combination to effectively manage
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main idea clear in the first paragraph and keep the answer balanced with a clear view. State your stance in one line.
coherence
Link your ideas with simple, short sentences. Use clear links like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' and 'for example'.
coherence
Check grammar and word choice. Use common words and short phrases. Avoid long, tricky phrases.
task response
Give a few specific examples that support your view, with numbers or facts if possible.
task
Clear attempt to discuss both sides of the topic.
idea
A clear final opinion and a plan to use both education and prison.
coherence
Good use of linking phrases to show contrast.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • punitive measures
  • mindset
  • behavioral change
  • workforce preparation
  • prospects
  • reoffending
  • employment opportunities
  • socioeconomic
  • low-risk offenders
  • serious offenders
  • balance
  • productive members of society
  • economic burden
  • public safety
  • offender rehabilitation
  • transformative programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: