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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line chart below illustrates the number of worldwide tourist arrivals in 5 countries from 1995 until 2010.

The line chart shows the
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figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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of
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for
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 worldwide tourist arrivals in 5 nations between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of worldwide
tourists
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 in France had a significant growth
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the other countries
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 Meanwhile, the
figure
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 in Brazil and Egypt was almost the same during the whole
period
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. Starting with the most attractive country for
tourists
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, the USA had a
number
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 of
tourists
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with
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of
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 70
million
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 in 1995. After
that
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that,
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 the
figure
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 grew constantly to reach a peak in 2005 with
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number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of 90
million
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.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
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Nevertheless,
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 the
figure
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 declined slightly to
be
Verb problem
apply
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around 88
million
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 in 2010. Meanwhile, France increased sharply over the
period
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. After starting with the
number
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 of 30
million
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, it reached its peak in 2010 to be in the top with the USA. The
number
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 of
tourists
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 in Malaysia was 20
million
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 in 1995. After
that
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that,
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 it rose constantly
or
Correct word choice
and
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reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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 its peak in 2010 with
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number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of 50
millions
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million
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. Meanwhile, Brazil and Egypt started the
period
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 with
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number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of
tourists
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 around 10
million
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. Egypt ended the
period
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 with
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number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of
tourists
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about
Change preposition
of about
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 20
millions
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million
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, above Brazil
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 had a
figure
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 of 18
millions
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million
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 approximately.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, number, tourists, period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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