IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment

Some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 tend to live in a
house
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, but there are some families who think that living in an apartment has more advantages. In my opinion, I think that living in a detached
house
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 can bring more benefits compared to any drawbacks
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic negative points of living in a
house
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, living in a
house
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 is not
low priced
Use the right word
low-priced
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.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 other words,
houses
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 have some facilities, specifically a yard that
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 regular
maintenance
Punctuation problem
maintenance,
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while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 maintenance
also
Linking Words
 requires some equipment that should be purchased and experts who must receive payments
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 all of these require a large amount of money.
Secondly
Linking Words
, living in a
house
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 affects commuting to downtown .to more clarify, housing requires larger
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
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 rather than apartments and spaces for housing can be found simply in remote areas
such
Linking Words
 as suburbs or countryside, where commuting from these areas to downtown can be challenging, as there are fewer public transport stations in these isolated areas.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite the cones above, I believe
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 could face serious benefits from living in a
house
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. One potential advantage is that people have more privacy when they are living in a
house
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. To put it
in other words
Linking Words
, there are distances between nearby
houses
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due to
Linking Words
 a large amount of space around each
house
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, and some disturbances,
for instance
Linking Words
, audio pollution cannot be problematic among neighbours and for people who have children and make a lot of, noise housing is the best option, so they can have their own privacy by living in a
house
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. Another obvious benefit is that housing can offer more independence compared to apartments. To put it simply,
houses
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 do not have shared walls that bring a lot of rules for neighbours to live and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no restrictions for painting, extensions or garden design, so family can customise their own homes
according to
Linking Words
 their needs and be more independent about keeping their
house
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. In conclusion, having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privacy in
houses
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 far outweighs any of the minor disadvantages that could result from living in a
house
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.

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planning
Plan before you write. Make a short plan: intro, three ideas, and a short end.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spell errors. Listen to how sentences sound and use simple form.
cohesion
Use link words to join ideas. For example: first, also, but, however, for example.
content
Give a clear example for each main point to support it.
task response
State your view clearly in the end and say why it is stronger.
content
The essay shows both sides and gives your view.
structure
Intro and ending are there, giving a shape to the essay.
lexical
Some good phrases like 'one potential advantage'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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