IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places.

There is an ongoing debate about whether increased
tourism
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 is
traveling
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travelling
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 to difficult countries. Some argue that international
travelers
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travellers
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 visit those
places
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 where they feel unsafe,
such
Linking Words
 as the Sahara Desert and Antarctica.
This
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 essay will explain both advantages and disadvantages before reaching a conclusion. One of the major advantages of
tourism
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 is
traveling
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travelling
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 to another country to explore cultural diversity and the history of ancient buildings.
For example
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, recreational travel allows
people
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 to visit new
places
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, where they can learn about their traditional values.
Moreover
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, the
tourism
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 industry contributes significantly to economic growth. Like some of the nations are in very poor condition, their currency under
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 level.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 can travel with their own choices, but some of the deserts do not permit seeing their cities.
For example
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,
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
one
Verb problem
is one
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 of the most
dangor
Correct your spelling
dangerous
part
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parts
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 in the world, its climate
condition
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conditions
show examples
worse
Verb problem
are worse
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,
not
Rephrase
no
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 proper shelters for
people
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.
However
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, 75%
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tourism
Replace the word
tourists
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 went there to observe their weather conditions, snow, animals, and camping.
Moreover
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,
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
residence
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residents
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jsut
Correct your spelling
just
 know their own language, so communication barriers are one of the parts as well. Tourist
people
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 sometimes face these circumstances if they need any emergency help, but the
people
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 do not understand their emotions.
Furthermore
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, it sometimes creates dangers for them when citizens are not allowed to engage in activities. In conclusion,
although
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 getting new
experience
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experiences
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for
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
places
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 is beneficial. But going to the dangerous
places
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 is complicated for
tourism
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, when everything is unpredictable, like climate conditions, meals, and shelters as well.
People
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 should
planned
Wrong verb form
plan
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ecverthing
Correct your spelling
everything
then
Linking Words
 they make a decision to visit a new place.

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planning
Plan your answer. State what you will talk about, then use two parts for pros and cons, and finish with a clear view.
structure
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Start with a main idea, then add a small fact.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next. Words like first, then, but, also, however help.
grammar
Check your facts and spelling. Use short, clean sentences.
content
Give examples that fit the point you make. Do not add wrong facts.
conclusion
End with a clear answer so the task is done.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
content
Topic has a clear idea of pros and cons.
content
Some place ideas are used (Sahara, Antarctica).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventurous
  • extreme
  • inhospitable
  • unpredictable
  • exotic
  • rare
  • challenging
  • thrilling
  • appreciation
  • cultural immersion
  • physical endurance
  • mental strength
  • dangerous
  • accidents
  • limited amenities
  • high cost
  • environmental impact
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