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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows numbers of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in the Gormez Straits from 2006 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of three different types of fish located in the Gormez Straits over the
time
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period
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 2006 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in 2018, there was are highest
number
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 of
Dolphins
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 living in that sea ,
while
Linking Words
 in 2006, amount
Dolphins
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 reached a low
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
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moreover
Linking Words
, in 2006 and 2018, there was the highest
number
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 of
seals
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 living in that ocean.
Dolphins
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 were slightly increased during the years 2006 to 2018. In detail, in 2006, the
number
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 of
Seals
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 was around 43 ,
while
Linking Words
 in 2010, it dramatically declined to 25 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, after 2010, the
number
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 of
Seals
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 slightly increased throughout the given
time
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period
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 , which was 43
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
time
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period
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. Additionally
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additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
Seals
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 was the same at the beginning and the end of the given
time
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period
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. In 2006, amount Whales was nearly 23
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it remained steady during the
time
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period
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Punctuation problem
. Moreover
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moreover
Linking Words
, in 2018, 29 whales lived in that sea. In 2006, around 26
dolphins
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 lived in that sea .
it
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It
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 was rapidly increased during the
time
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period
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Punctuation problem
. Moreover
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moreover
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
time
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period
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 , which was 2018, the
number
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 of
dolphins
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 was more than 50.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, period, number, dolphins, seals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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