Establishing good relationship in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is often argued that having a good relationship in a workplace is not essential because focusing on work is more crucial. I strongly believe that
relation
Replace the word
relationships
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in the professional environment
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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important
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
because
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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lead to great teamwork and make a healthy
warkplace
Correct your spelling
workplace
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the thought of coworkers being amiable and
creat
Use the right word
creating
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strong bonds among the rest of the team
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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is beneficial for the company itself.
In other words
Linking Words
, only when the staff have a strong bond between each other, they will try and work to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
the same goal together. In the long run, a good relationship with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peers could lead to
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
.
Then
Linking Words
, working is not the only essential thing in a workplace
Secondly
Linking Words
, a good reason to completely disagree with the given statement is
human
Correct word choice
that human
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relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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could be beneficial to make a healthy environment.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some people in charge tend to perceive the workers as machinery to produce something.
This
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behaviour should be
prevent
Wrong verb form
prevented
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, every
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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on
Change preposition
in
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each one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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departement
Correct your spelling
department
in the company must feel
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
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environment to feel valued. After which, they would choose to stay and
loyal
Verb problem
be loyal
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to the
interprise
Correct your spelling
enterprise
.
Due to
Linking Words
, modernised world we live
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
right now, people tend to forget about being empathetic and just highlight the importance of being productive.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with the words that remark how important
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
just to work in your workplace and forget about having a good relationship with the people you share a profession with.

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Task response
Make your main idea clear from the first sentence and keep to it. This helps the reader see your view.
Coherence
Add simple reasons and short examples that back your point. Also link each idea to the next with small bridges.
content
You state a clear position that goes against the given idea.
structure
Two reasons are given to support your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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