IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Home schooling is getting a lot importance over traditional learning environment provided by schools. What is your opinion on the subject?

In recent years, home-based education
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 getting more priority than conventional learning methods at
schools
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I strongly believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should continue with traditional educational institutions in order to achieve
academical
Replace the word
academic
show examples
 success and to develop interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
. To start with, the structured
ntaure
Correct your spelling
nature
 of conventional classrooms fosters academic discipline and sustained concentration. A formal classroom setting promotes self-discipline and
puncuality
Correct your spelling
punctuality
, which enables
students
Use synonyms
 to do multi-tasking without getting distracted. In Japanese
schools
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 follow strict classroom instructions, and
this
Linking Words
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
 contributed to Japan's high academic performance, particularly in science and maths. So,
coventional
Correct your spelling
conventional
 teaching methods ensure high academic achievement compared to
home schooling
Use the right word
homeschooling
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, Traditional schooling plays a crucial role in nurturing social competence and collaborative
skills
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 develop interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
, teamwork, and emotional intelligence through daily classroom interactions, which is impossible in home-centred learning. In American
schools
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 frequently engage in group presentations, debates and seminars, which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 them develop public speaking and critical discussion
skills
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 develop highly valued social
skills
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and excel in future achievements. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I strongly support traditional teaching methods at
schools
Use synonyms
, because it ensures high academic performance through strict disciplines, and social and interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 through collaborative tasks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make the plan clear. Start with a short intro that shows your view. Then use 2 or 3 lines for each idea.
grammar
Fix errors in spelling and word form. Use 'is' instead of 'are' when you talk about a thing.
content
Use simple and true facts. Do not say things that are not clear. Try to show one main point in each paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words. Use 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example' to keep flow.
grammar
Keep sentences short. Do not use long run on sentence. This helps idea stay clear.
structure
The writer shows a clear view on the topic in the intro and keeps it in the end.
coherence
Some good link words used to join ideas.
content
Examples such as Japan and America are used to back up the point.
structure
There is a simple plan in the essay with a few parts.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: