IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

The line graph illustrates average yearly expenditures on mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 and telephone
services
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, cell
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 rapidly increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 steadily declined. Despite
this
Linking Words
, handphone shows more usage than landline
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. It can be
shows
Replace the word
shown
show examples
 that ,over the period between 2001 to
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 cellphone expenditures
roses
Use the right word
rose
show examples
 and
merged
Verb problem
peaked
show examples
 in the year of 2001.
However
Linking Words
, residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 rapidly decreased
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over the given year.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more use can be shown in handphone
services
Use synonyms
 than
telephonic
Change preposition
in telephonic
show examples
services
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, services with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditures
  • cell phone services
  • residential phone services
  • steady increase
  • steady decrease
  • comparison
  • milestones
  • technological advancements
  • trends
  • speculating
  • paraphrasing
  • overview
  • notable changes
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