IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the lack of
accommodation
Use synonyms
 in many big cities can result in major disasters, and it can only be solved by the
government
Use synonyms
 through infrastructure improvements. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and believe that the shortage of housing can increase homelessness and poverty, the
government
Use synonyms
 should take appropriate steps to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the primary concerns for
accommodation
Use synonyms
 shortages in metropolitan areas is homelessness. More
people
Use synonyms
 migrate to urban areas because of opportunities and employment, and
thus
Linking Words
, they require
accommodation
Use synonyms
. If cities cannot provide
people
Use synonyms
 with housing,
this
Linking Words
 could affect their safety and security because of the shortage of
shelters
Use synonyms
. In London,
for instance
Linking Words
, an annual report from CHAIN suggests that more than 13000
people
Use synonyms
 were homeless in 2025, which rose by more than 63% compared to a decade ago.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lack of
accommodation
Use synonyms
 means higher competition for houses, which often increases the rent and eventually puts
people
Use synonyms
 under pressure
for
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 higher living costs. So, who is responsible for solving
this
Linking Words
 housing crisis? One possible solution is the intervention
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
. Governments should modify the city's infrastructure by building modern skyscrapers with more affordable apartments
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and by providing
shelters
Use synonyms
 for those who are in need of immediate protection. One notable step is taken by the Los Angeles authority, which is converting hotels into temporary
shelters
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and building faster and cheaper
accommodation
Use synonyms
 for permanent movers. By doing
this
Linking Words
, the authority is not only saving many lives by providing security but
also
Linking Words
 securing safe
accommodation
Use synonyms
 for upcoming generations.
Hence
Linking Words
, the housing crisis can only be solved by the
people
Use synonyms
 in power in major metropolitan areas. To summarise, the housing crisis can affect
people
Use synonyms
's ability and security, and can lead to homelessness
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should build affordable homes and provide temporary
shelters
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who are in need.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Make more simple, short sentences. Each idea is in its own sentence.
task response
Add a quick sense of balance. Include a minor view that other sides may have, then say why you still think this way.
evidence
Use more, small facts or examples. Check they are true and easy to read.
structure
Fix punctuation. Use full stops and join ideas with 'and' or 'but' so the text is easy to read.
stance
Clear stance is shown in the intro and kept in the end.
evidence
You give real examples from cities to back your view.
cohesion
You use linking words well to lead your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • public housing
  • overcrowding
  • affordable housing
  • rent control
  • property market
  • infrastructure development
  • sustainable living
  • rural-urban migration
  • real estate regulations
  • zoning laws
  • bureaucracy
  • gentrification
  • economic disparity
  • housing policy
  • social welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: