In some countries，it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problems?
WorldCorrect article usage
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isVerb problem
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become a global village
advancementFix the agreement mistake
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in every field.
advancementFix capitalization
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makeCorrect subject-verb agreement
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easyCorrect pronoun usage
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for everyone to buy
the Correct article usage
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things from any part
forChange preposition
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the world. Due
thisChange preposition
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advancementPunctuation problem
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problems are getting
sloveVerb problem
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suchPunctuation problem
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as scarcity of food, reduction in the price of products and
of cheap raw material.
First of all
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Task response: The essay does not clearly state your view on whether benefits outweigh problems. It needs a clear stance and a balanced discussion.
Provide a balanced view: mention both good and bad points and say how much you think they matter. Give a short example.
Coherence and cohesion: Organize in 4 parts: introduction, 2–3 body paragraphs, conclusion. Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
Paragraph each main idea. Begin with a topic sentence. Use simple linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
Grammar and spelling: fix errors like 'World is become' -> 'The world is becoming' or 'The world has become', 'multiples' etc. Use correct verb forms.
Vocabulary: use a few new words but keep easy words. Do not misspell words.
The idea of global trade as a theme is clear.
You link the topic to real life issues like price and raw material.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general