IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart bellow shows the result of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010.

The chart
beneath
Rephrase
below
show examples
 illustrates the result of three surveys on how many
people
Use synonyms
 were absent in a European country in the years from 2000, 2005 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who did not go to work
of
Change preposition
due to
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 illness
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 higher than other reasons. The family responsibility
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 in the second place
from
Change preposition
after
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Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 absenteeism in
survey
Correct article usage
the survey
show examples
. Other reasons were
small
Correct article usage
a small
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 amount of use from
people
Use synonyms
 to not go to work. In
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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 the
absentment
Correct your spelling
absence rates
 were changing
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on how workers would respond in order
to
Verb problem
apply
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not to go to work. Stress
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the
less
Correct word choice
least
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 reason that
people
Use synonyms
 would use to excuse themself from
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
. The proportion of
responds
Replace the word
responses
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
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 than other
responds
Replace the word
responses
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 that got more than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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percentage changed
as well as
Linking Words
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. In 2005 and
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
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 the
accuses
Check wording
accusations
show examples
 of family responsibilities were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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It
Fix capitalization
it
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also
Linking Words
 turned out to be the same
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
absents
Use the right word
absences
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in these years
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
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 unexpected problems.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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