IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some parents believe that learning mathematics at schools is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used in later life. Discuss both sides.

It is considered by some parents that teaching
mathematics
Use synonyms
 in schools should be banned, as they believe it is an unnecessary
subject
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 some argue that no matter the significance it holds in pupils' futures, it should remain a primary
subject
Use synonyms
. I am inclined to agree with the latter belief.
Mathematics
Use synonyms
 can be helpful in so many aspects. On the one hand, some individuals are more interested in artistic subjects and imagine their future to develop in that field. Naturally, an artist doesn’t require mathematical knowledge to succeed in their profession. To illustrate, it is roughly unfair to have a pupil focus immensely on
mathematics
Use synonyms
 when they show talent and enthusiasm in photography. In most scenarios, the student
lose
Correct subject-verb agreement
loses
show examples
 interest in the field they are passionate about
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it results in a lack of motivation. There is much research done on
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon that proves that
mathematics
Use synonyms
 can lead to a lack of interest in all subjects.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, banning a
subject
Use synonyms
 as fundamental as
mathematics
Use synonyms
 can be rather detrimental. In almost all stages of life, there will be a circumstance in which you will be in need of
mathematics
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
subject
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 said to be one of the most beneficial and effective elements for brain development. As an example, there was research from a university in The Hague that students were supposed to spend a week with the art department students who are not forced to take
mathematics
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 study showed that most of those educators were unable to calculate basic numbers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 without their phones to use a calculator, they struggled a great deal. In conclusion,
mathematics
Use synonyms
 can be highly frustrating and lead to extreme demotivation
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in those who prefer more artistic studies.
However
Linking Words
, despite the lack of passion and interest in
this
Linking Words
subject
Use synonyms
, it is still a substantial
subject
Use synonyms
 to follow in order to easily calculate the simplest numbers.
Thus
Linking Words
, it should remain a vital
subject
Use synonyms
 to be taught at school.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be direct in your view at the start and end with a clear finish that says what you think about the issue.
task response
Add more simple, clear examples that fit with your main point so the reader can see your idea.
coherence
Use clear and short paragraphs. Start each with a topic sentence and then give one idea with a tiny example.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go together, for example 'also', 'but', 'for this reason', 'in addition'.
grammar
Check small grammar mistakes and keep long sentences short so meaning is easy to see.
structure
Keep to simple facts and avoid too many new ideas at once.
content clarity
You show a clear view on the issue and give both sides.
structure
Two big ideas are shown with a 'for' and 'against' stance.
evidence
You use examples to back up your idea, even if they are not strong.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • redundant
  • foundational
  • practically useful
  • complex mathematical theories
  • life skills
  • vocational training
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • cognitive abilities
  • rapid advancement
  • technology and science
  • mathematical principles
  • digital age
  • practical, technology-oriented education
  • informed decision-making
  • financial planning
  • budgeting
  • understanding risks
  • sense of discipline
  • achievement
  • perseverance
  • persistence
  • attention to detail
What to do next:
Look at other essays: