Some people want to stay at the same place while others would prefer to live different place

Nowadays,a lot of
people
Use synonyms
want to stay
at
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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one
place
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
other
people
Use synonyms
would prefer to live different
place
Use synonyms
On the one hand,some
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prefer to stay in one
place
Use synonyms
. Because they feel a sense of stability and security.
Additionally
Linking Words
,family and friends are nearby.
Besides
Linking Words
,they have a stable job or education
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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life is less stressful.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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think more old
people
Use synonyms
want
this
Linking Words
. As they know the area well and feel more comfortable and
Linking Words
also it is
Correct word order
it is also
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easier to make long-term plans.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,others who prefer
live
Verb problem
to live
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in
different
Correct article usage
a different
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place
Use synonyms
aspecially
Rephrase
apply
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,
Rephrase
especially student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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and
adults
Punctuation problem
adults,
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because they can gain new experiences and opportunities and
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may find better jobs or education and
also
Linking Words
they want
learn
Verb problem
to learn
show examples
about different cultures and lifestyles.
Besides
Linking Words
,I think moving helps with personal growth and independence.On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of that, life becomes more exciting and less boring. In conclusion,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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my opinion,both choices are reasonable,depending on a
pers
Use the right word
person's
show examples
on's goals.
For example
Linking Words
,young
people
Use synonyms
often prefer to move,
while
Linking Words
older
people
Use synonyms
value stability.

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planning
Make a plan before you write. Start with a short intro that says what you will talk about and your view. Then write one paragraph for each side, with why, and finish with your own view.
cohesion
Use simple link words to show how ideas fit. Try 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example', 'in addition'.
grammar
Check small errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Capitalize proper names and use full stops.
content
Give a clear example for each point. This helps show your points well.
content
The essay talks about both sides of the issue.
structure
It shows a clear view in the end.
cohesion
There is some use of linking words to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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