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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentages of different types of household waste that were recycled in one city between 1992 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Punctuation problem
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the chart below shows the
Percentages
Use synonyms
 of different types of houshold waste that were recycled in one
city
Use synonyms
 between 1992 and 2002
this
Linking Words
 bar chart shows 1992
years
Use synonyms
plastic
Use synonyms
 decline and 10 pecentages morever 1997between 2002 the same 15 percetages but
cans
Use synonyms
 growed in1992 and1997 athough but 2002
years
Use synonyms
 increasesd 25
percentages
Use synonyms
 the
city
Use synonyms
 peper 1997and 2002
years
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 1992 daclined
for instance
Linking Words
 1992 peper 15
percentages
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 1997 30
percentages
Use synonyms
 but 2002
years
Use synonyms
 40
percentages
Use synonyms
 the
city
Use synonyms
glass
Use synonyms
 declined because
glass
Use synonyms
 15
percentages
Use synonyms
 but 1997 between 2002
years
Use synonyms
 very increased
for example
Linking Words
 30 and 45
percentages
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
 on top of that
this
Linking Words
 shows enveroment harm full but 1992
years
Use synonyms
plastic
Use synonyms
 ,
cans
Use synonyms
 ,
paper
Use synonyms
 , and
glass
Use synonyms
 less
percentages
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 but 1992
cans
Use synonyms
 a little more in 1997
cans
Use synonyms
,
plastic
Use synonyms
,
paper
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, and
glass
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 very more
percentages
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
plastic
Use synonyms
 and the same
percentages
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
paper
Use synonyms
 and
glass
Use synonyms
 more
percentages
Use synonyms
paper
Use synonyms
 30
glass
Use synonyms
 29
percentages
Use synonyms
 in 2002 they more growed
for instance
Linking Words
 , very more
percentages
Use synonyms
glass
Use synonyms
 and
paper
Use synonyms
 they 40 ,48
percentages
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 and
this
Linking Words
 enveroment and the
city
Use synonyms
 harmful morever
this
Linking Words
 shows the emont of waste incerease of very much waste and rice
percentages
Use synonyms
 about so
this
Linking Words
 the
city
Use synonyms
 feautures enveroment harm ful

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example, for instance, however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages, city, years, plastic, cans, glass, paper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 15 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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