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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is a great invention which has changed the world. Some say it causes problems, while others say it is helpful. Give both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

Society has drastically changed throughout the years,especially
Use synonyms
technology
Change preposition
in technology
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.Many
people
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 believe that the creation of
technology
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 is ultimately helpful.
Others
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 think that
technology
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 causes problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
technology
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. On the one hand,
technology
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 has several useful advantages.
First,
Linking Words
technology
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 has updated the
way
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people
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 learn. In any
education institute
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educational institution
show examples
,there are many
usages
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uses
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 of
technology
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 to make it easier for students to learn.
People
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have challenges to be able to learn in any institute
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
can now educate themselves
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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distance
online
Verb problem
learning online
show examples
.Second,
technology
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 has made it incredibly easier for
people
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 to communicate and connect with one another. The loved ones
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are far from each other can now communicate
throughout
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through
show examples
 the internet.
For
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example
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,many
people
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 are separated because of many reasons
and
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, and
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 today they can communicate through social media.
Finally
Linking Words
,
technology
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 has made it easier for
people
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 to earn money online.There are several
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and
crypto currencies
Use the right word
cryptocurrencies
show examples
 that exist online.In instance, it is easier to shop or work online to make money,so
people
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 can now live off online businesses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there are many disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
way
Use synonyms
people
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use
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technology
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.
First,
Linking Words
cyber bullying
Use the right word
cyberbullying
show examples
 has become a major problem of usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
.
Check wording
usage.
show examples
People
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use
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 it to bully
others
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 in many ways
as
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, as
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 it is the easiest
way
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 to harm someone.An
example
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 of
this
Linking Words
 is,in
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
 kids post silly and offensive pictures or comments to insult
others
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.Second,it is hard to secure accounts because of online hackers.Hackers exist everywhere
some
Punctuation problem
; some
show examples
 tend to hack
others
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 for money
heist
Punctuation problem
, heist
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or
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, or
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 for personal reasons.
For
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example
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,they hack into bank account information
or
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, or
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 other hackers can
use
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 personal pictures or
others
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 to bribe them.
Third,
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technology
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 has
effected
Use the right word
affected
show examples
 the
way
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people
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 live negatively.Many adults and children have
extreme
Correct article usage
an extreme
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 addiction
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the internet
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is extremely
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
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,
people
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 waste hours on video games
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is so useless
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can affect
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 life insanely. In conclusion,
technology
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 has both positive and negative sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 its usage.It is only up to a person on how to
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Fix grammar and spelling. Add space after commas and periods. Shorten long sentences and use clear words.
task response
Keep a clear topic. The essay talks about technology; stay on that one idea and tie all points to it.
coherence
Use more linking words to join ideas (for example, first, next, also, however).
development
Give more detail for each point. Say why online learning or cyber bullying is good or bad.
conclusion
End with a strong final sentence that restates the main idea.
structure
Two clear parts show pro and con ideas.
content
Examples are used to show points (learning online, communication, cyber bullying).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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