More and more people are using the internet to do their tasks rather then doing in person. (e.g. banking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages?

Nowadays, numerous individuals shop through the internet
instead
Linking Words
of going to the shop.
Although
Linking Words
there are many benefits to
this
Linking Words
situation, it
also
Linking Words
has some drawbacks
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss each side and include my opinion. On the one hand, buying goods online has benefited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people in many ways. One of the main reasons is the instant access to products and time saving;
for example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
searching for something in the mall, it may take some time to find it,
due to
Linking Words
how massive the shopping centre is, so browsing through websites is considered faster. As for the second reason, the internet provides the ability to work from home, which helps enhance the quality of living and allows employees to manage their tasks without any distractions.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, online booking programmes and travelling platforms assist people with exploring the area or the country they are visiting and help them with making reservations at hotels.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many disadvantages to
this
Linking Words
trend. One major effect is laziness; unfortunately, the internet helps increase and promote the lack of physical exercise,
such
Linking Words
as walking, cycling and communicating with different individuals.
As a result
Linking Words
, some may start to gain weight and forget how to socialise with others.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, purchasing items online may lead to false
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
;
for instance
Linking Words
, if a person is planning to purchase a dress without seeing it in person, they might get a product
that is
Linking Words
damaged,
such
Linking Words
as poor material, the wrong colour and bad quality.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages;
however
Linking Words
, people need to be careful with what they purchase, since it can cause many problems and cause them to be less productive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay gives a clear view that the good parts of online buying win. Some ideas are not tied well to the topic. Make sure each reason links to the point of online use.
coherence
Use simple words to link ideas. Start examples with 'for example' and use 'also' or 'but' to connect next point.
grammar
Shorten long lines. Break big sentences into two small ones to avoid mistakes.
examples
Try to add one or two more real examples about online use that match the topic.
strength
The writer has a clear view that benefits may be bigger than risks.
strength
The essay uses good examples like easy search, home work, and hotel booking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: