IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is a great invention which has changed the world.Some say it causes problems while others say it is helpful. Give both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

Society has drastically changed throughout the years, especially
Use synonyms
technology
Change preposition
in technology
show examples
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the creation of
technology
Use synonyms
 is ultimately helpful.
Others
Use synonyms
 think that
technology
Use synonyms
 causes problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
technology
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
technology
Use synonyms
 has several useful advantages. First,it has updated the
way
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 learn. In any
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 institute,there are many helpful
usages
Check wording
uses
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
deal
Verb problem
have
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficulties
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulty
show examples
 to learn
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can now educate themselves
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance
online
Verb problem
learning online
show examples
. Second,it has made it incredibly easier for
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate and connect with one another. Families that are far apart can now communicate
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
 the internet.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are separated can connect through social media apps.
Finally
Linking Words
, it has
also
Linking Words
 made it easier for
people
Use synonyms
 to earn money online.There are several
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and
crypto currencies
Use the right word
cryptocurrencies
show examples
 that exist online.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is easier to shop or work online to make money, so
people
Use synonyms
 can now live off online businesses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
way
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
cyber bullying
Use the right word
cyberbullying
show examples
 has become a major problem
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
People
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 it to bully
others
Use synonyms
 in many ways
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it is the easiest
way
Use synonyms
 to harm someone. As an example, kids in schools post insulting pictures or comments
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
others
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is hard to secure accounts because of online hackers. Hackers exist
everywhere
Punctuation problem
everywhere,
show examples
 some tend to hack
others
Use synonyms
 for money
heist
Punctuation problem
, heist
show examples
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 for personal reasons.
For example
Linking Words
, they hack into bank accounts information or they can
use
Use synonyms
 personal pictures of
others
Use synonyms
 to bribe and threaten them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 has affected the
way
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 live negatively.Many adults and children have
extreme
Correct article usage
an extreme
show examples
 addiction
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the internet
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is extremely
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 waste hours on video games, and it can
incredibly
Replace the word
incredible
show examples
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
one’s
Change preposition
on one’s
show examples
 life. In conclusion,
technology
Use synonyms
 has both positive and negative sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 its usage.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is one’s responsibility
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to
use
Use synonyms
 it properly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make a clear plan: say your main idea in the first line of the intro, then give two clear points with one example each.
language
Write shorter, simple sentences. Use only common words so it is easy to read.
content
For each idea, add a more exact example and explain how it helps or harms.
coherence
The essay shows both sides and uses sign words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
structure
It has a clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It gives examples to support points.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: