In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them?

There is
not
Rephrase
no
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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secret that in many countries people’s weight
dramatically
Verb problem
has dramatically
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gained
Verb problem
increased
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over the
last
Linking Words
decades. Simultaneously, the level of
health
Use synonyms
drops by more than 50%.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss how fast food chains and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of
sport
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affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
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a
Correct article usage
the
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human body and how to improve
health
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by improving your eating habits and adding new activity to your routine. The vast majority of citizens are taking their lunch in the fast-food chains. Everybody lives with a crazy schedule with deadlines,
zoom
Fix capitalization
Zoom
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calls,
meetings
Correct word choice
and meetings
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. It is not easy to find time to prepare dishes at home.
That is
Linking Words
a reason why people prefer to buy their lunch at
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Burger King.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
habit, a person
realized
Verb problem
realises
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that he
gained
Verb problem
has gained
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weight and might notice that his
health
Use synonyms
is not in the best condition.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is not easy to fit exercises and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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in
Change preposition
into
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a tight schedule. During
winter
Correct article usage
the winter
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holidays
Punctuation problem
holidays,
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I always gain weight, because I refuse my
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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activity and enjoy tasty pizzas and burgers.
However
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, the processed food taxes and popularisation of
sport
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could significantly improve the nation’s
health
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.
Adiitional
Correct your spelling
Additional
taxes for retailers who are selling processed food,
such
Linking Words
as burgers, burritos,
Correct word choice
and pizzas
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pizzas
Punctuation problem
pizzas,
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should decrease
activity
Correct article usage
the activity
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of buyers, which positively
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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of that type of meal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a propaganda of
active
Correct article usage
an active
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lifestyle should
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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with
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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. Leaders of opinion could show the example how to enjoy a morning run, how yoga can improve flexibility and
mindfulnes
Correct your spelling
mindfulness
, how surfing
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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mental
health
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. I started to run
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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when I found my favourite
instagramer
Correct your spelling
Instagrammer
on
Change preposition
at
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the
moscow
Fix capitalization
Moscow
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marathon 14 years ago. So, now I am a
good
Punctuation problem
good,
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healthy runner in my best shape.
To conclude
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, countries
facing
Verb problem
are facing
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a problem with overweight and decreasing of a
health
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level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. To solve that problem, I suggest
to increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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taxes for fast-food chains and popularize
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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among
a
Correct article usage
the
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nation.

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development
Add more clear ideas on how the causes lead to weight gain and health drop. Give simple examples and numbers or steps for taxes and sport plans.
language
Use simple and correct wording. Fix big grammar mistakes and keep sentences short.
structure
Make a clear plan. One idea per paragraph. Start with intro, then body for causes, body for solutions, then a short conclusion.
organization
Reduce extra stories. Use your own life only to back general points and then tie to the main claim.
strength
Clear topic and aim in the task.
strength
Use of linking words like However and Moreover.
strength
There is a simple plan in the essay: discuss causes and solutions.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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