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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that healthy eating and the importance of healthy food should be taught in schools. Others say that parents should teach their children about healthy food and diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion with relevant examples.

There is an ongoing debate about who is responsible for teaching healthy foods to
children
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.
While
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 some people argue that schools are accountable
to teach
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for teaching
show examples
 about healthy
food
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habits
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, others claim that
such
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 knowledge should be provided by parents. In my opinion, I agree with the latter view because families hold the primary responsibility
in
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for
show examples
 bringing up their
children
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, many people believe that educational institutions are responsible, and it is
mainlydue
Correct your spelling
mainly due
 to the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
such
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 places provide an opportunity for
children
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 to learn good
habits
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such
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 as sharing, helping and respecting others.
Similarly
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, they can educate them about eating healthy foods , which will increase their motivation when it is instructed by their favourite teachers.
Moreover
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,
children
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 always actively engage if their fellow students follow the same eating patterns.
As a result
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, they will learn to prioritise healthy
food
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Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as a substantial vegetarian meal
over
Punctuation problem
, over
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 processed
food
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, which will benefit their
overall
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 health and well-being. As an example, in western countries, students are encouraged to bring salads
instead
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 of sugary items or chips for lunch
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 whoever brings
healthiest
Correct article usage
the healthiest
show examples
food
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 rewarded with gifts.
Therefore
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, students are highly motivated to bring healthy foods to feel a sense of pride.
On the other hand
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, some people claim that parents should educate their young ones on eating
habits
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that parents hold the primary responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 maintaining the wellness of their young ones.
In addition
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 , they always know their
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children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 preferences better than a teacher, thereby it will not be challenging for them to change their
food
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habits
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.
Moreover
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, they can set themselves as role models, as much of learning during childhood occurs through observation and imitation of those adults at home.

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conclusion
Add a short ending that restates your view and wraps up.
structure
Link each idea to your view in one line so the flow is easy to see.
evidence
Give more real facts or clear examples to show your point.
grammar
Check small grammar issues that may slow reading.
content
You state your view clearly at the start.
structure
There is a idea of two sides with good sign posts.
evidence
Some example is used to back up point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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