IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Too much emphasis is put on going to university for academic studies. We should encourage people to have vocational education since there are not enough qualified businessmen, electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is a growing demand for entering University and studying academic lessons. A number of people claim that
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 ought to be encouraged to have vocational schooling because qualified occupations are very limited and society needs them.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because universities are much more beneficial for learners
due to
Linking Words
 their features of stronger scientific literacy and better life preparation. Universities have an abundance of scientific knowledge and which provides pupils robust science education and a research mindset. Academics carry out their research not only focusing on their exact occupation but
also
Linking Words
 focusing on figuring out the reality behind the systems,
such
Linking Words
 as the universe, earth, or social structures of society, where college can enhance their perspective in any desired way.
Therefore
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, educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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 naturally offer a more independent, inclusive and strong study system than skills-based education. Another advantage of
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
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 is that they offer better holistic development by giving students life skills, critical thinking and diverse perspectives. Because of that, undergraduates can meet others who come from different backgrounds and ethnicities in
university’
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university
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 campuses or various club activities, which directly boosts students’ critical thinking skills and teaches them how they can direct the conversation within completely different situations.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, not sticking to a certain educational way gives them the ability to control the endless possibilities within their personal choices, as they will do in real modern life.
For instance
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,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 who have finished a university program
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 show a great skill in real social enthusiasm and deal with some demanding situations more than others. In conclusion, entering a higher educational institute is much more beneficial than vocational learning because they create a stronger educational atmosphere for
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 members with its powerful and independent scientific perspective, and
also
Linking Words
 provides a significant social field on campus or in clubs.

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task
Be clear on your view in the first line. State if you agree or disagree and how much.
structure
Use one idea in each paragraph. Start with a simple sentence that shows the idea and end with a line that links to the next part.
examples
Give clear and small examples that fit the topic.
conclusion
Close with a short line that restates your view and ends the task.
strength
The essay shows a clear view that university life has value.
strength
The writer adds good ideas about learning and life on campus.
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