IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages

There is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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 that consumption of either identical or similar information,
in particular
Linking Words
 online media
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 moves faster and overwhelmingly is a ubiquitous phenomenon across the globe.
As a result
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, it leads to
fewer
Correct word choice
a greater
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 diversity of countries
both
Punctuation problem
, both
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 benefits and drawbacks.
Although
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 many people claim that there are many negative impacts
;
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,
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 especially low cultural diversity, imitation
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
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, I believe that the positive consequences
are outweighed
Wrong verb form
outweigh
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than
Change preposition
apply
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the
other
Correct word choice
negative
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;
for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 lower discrimination, more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 and so on. One of the main negative consequences is the lack of various cultures
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 caused the loss of identity and local wisdom.
For instance
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, people residing in a rural area whose unique embroidery may be destroyed by
fashionable
Correct article usage
a fashionable
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 trend.
In other words
Linking Words
, it probably halts product development.
Nevertheless
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, what people connect among others without the boundaries of data is in favour of the incremental
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 chance and the diminishing discrimination. To elaborate on
this
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 point, when crucial content is
worldwide
Rephrase
publicly
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public
Correct word choice
available
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, i.e. Facebook layoff,
China
Use synonyms
 EV car production boost, both Facebook ex-employees and job seekers in a
China
Use synonyms
 EV car company can search for new vacant jobs around the world, particularly, engineering jobs. Because the difference
of
Change preposition
in
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 English proficiency and engineering skill
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 narrower.
Moreover
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, some production
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
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 spare parts manufacturing, agricultural planting and so
on
Punctuation problem
on,
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 can be expanded and interchanged between nations,
for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 durian planting from Thailand to
China
Use synonyms
 results in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cheaper durians to consume in
China
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I
realize
Change the spelling
realise
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 that each country has unique characteristics conserved for generations. The loss of its identity
maybe
Use the right word
may be
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 harmful and should not be neglected. If we take into consideration and
appropriate
Verb problem
take appropriate
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 action, I assert that we can take more
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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from
Change preposition
of
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this
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 trend.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Make two clear points and a short final view.
vocabulary
Use simple, clear words. Avoid hard or wrong phrases.
grammar
Check grammar and form. Put verbs right and match subjects.
content
Give one clear example for each point. Tie each example to the point.
coherence
Use linking words to show idea flow. Use 'first', 'then', 'but', 'also', 'for example'.
structure
The essay shows a plan to discuss both sides of the issue.
content
Some real examples are given, which show some touch of topic.
conclusion
The writer tries to end with a view, which is used in a good way.
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