Nowadays people are following fashion, hairstyle and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development?

Crowd follow things like fashion and hairstyle, now more than ever. I believe

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

is because of the increase in the influencing platforms, and could lead to adversities in the long run.

Due to

Linking Words

mass movement towards trending ideology, the importance of education has plunged. With the advancement in technology and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

, many social media platforms have been introduced. These are used for influencing activities, where celebrities promote trending outlook ideas. Young minds are drawn towards

such

Linking Words

glamorous

Correct article usage

a glamorous

show examples

lifestyle and have started following

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

This

Linking Words

could be either for recognition in the virtual world or for the quick money that these platforms promise. For

instant

Replace the word

instance

show examples

, careers like social media influencers and online models

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

are the talk of the town. The reason is simple

Punctuation problem

show examples

fame and wealth.

Although

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

a greater threat lies in the outcome of

this

Linking Words

trend, not the reason. Encouraged by these web stars, youngsters are now inclined towards online careers,

thus

Linking Words

affecting their education. High school dropouts are not rare anymore, thanks to the promotion of fashion over studies. Words like 'geek' and 'bookworm' are used for those seeking

honorable

Change the spelling

honourable

show examples

careers like medicine, dentistry and engineering. With

this

Linking Words

bend towards the

reel

Use the right word

real

show examples

industry, it would not be too long

when

Correct word choice

before

show examples

we would not have doctors and engineers at our disposal.

This

Linking Words

is not only a bad situation,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

detrimental

Rephrase

also detrimental

show examples

. In conclusion, teenagers are persuaded by the glamour

dispalyed

Correct your spelling

displayed

on their screens by the celebrities, convincing them to follow fashion,

hence

Linking Words

neglecting the value of wisdom. If

this

Linking Words

trend is not obliterated, it could result in a dislodged society.

romana.044254

Jan 1, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task

You should give a clear view on the good and bad sides of fashion news. Tell the reader if you think it is good or bad, and why.

coherence

Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Use simple link words to move ideas from one sentence to the next.

language

Keep sentences short and easy. Check spelling and grammar so ideas come out in a clean way.

content

Add one or two real examples that show your point, not general talk.

theme

You write about a real issue and show how it can affect study and work.

structure

There is a basic plan with opening, body and a closing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Learning a foreign language is essential to being part of the workforce. It is true that many people discuss whether it is more beneficial to learn another language at an early age or not. There are definitely positive and negative aspects to learn at each age to be considered.
8.5
band
You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas. You would like some information about their courses. Write a letter to the school. In your letter ● ask about the school ● say what kind of accommodation you want ● mention any special requests you have (for example, diet).
I am writing to inquire about some information about your English school.
6
band
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
From ancient times until now, all people have been interested in living longer, and scientists have always looking for a way for human survive. Although living long without good health is really annoying.
6
band
Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, people hold a belief that managers should not pay attention to attire of their workers because it is important to focus on the productivity. While I accept that quality of work plays a crucial role, I also believe that fashion in office is an essential aspect when employers judge employees.
7
band
Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued by many individuals that, overpopulation is the major cause of many issues. I am in favour of this statement because it is the root cause of many challenges faced by our communities many problems such as fossil fuels, the education system, health issues, and many more are just caused due to overcrowded people in each sector.

Nowadays people are following fashion, hairstyle and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas. You would like some information about their courses. Write a letter to the school. In your letter ● ask about the school ● say what kind of accommodation you want ● mention any special requests you have (for example, diet).

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree?