do u think the advantages if taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, more people are taking
risks
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in both
of
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apply
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their professional and personal lives
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however
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; however
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, there are still other group of people
that
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who
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thinks differently and avoid
to take
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taking
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risks
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.
This
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then
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becomes one of the biggest discussion
topic
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topics
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in the world. On the one hand, taking
risks
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can improve your personal growth as it helps you gain confidence, independence and life experience. An example is when stepping out of your comfort
zone
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zone,
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then
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you get to try new
things
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.
This
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then
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helps
support
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apply
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you prepare for the challenges ahead. It can
also
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connect to
learning
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a learning
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experience
which
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, which
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means that if
things
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goes
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go
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wrong
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wrong,
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you still learn a valuable lesson that can help you improve in the future.
This
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illustrates that taking
risks
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can
then
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lead to success as you keep learning from
experience
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experience,
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whether
things
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goes
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go
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badly or not.
On the other hand
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, taking
risks
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can have some negative impacts towards us. It can lead to emotional stress because it can cause
uncertainties
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uncertain
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feelings in the future and pressure whether they made the right decisions or not.
This
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can increase anxiety and mental health
which
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, which
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is a
long term
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long-term
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consequences
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consequence
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. Another huge impact is that it can cause financial loss.
For example
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, starting a business or investing money in something may not always end up well because there is a chance that the outcome will not be successful.
Overall
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, both sides
has
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have
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strong arguments as it helps improve personal growth and increase learning experiences
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however
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; however
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, it can lead to mental health problems and losing a large amount of money. I believe that the advantages of taking
risks
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does
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do
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outweighs
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outweigh
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the disadvantages because you get to learn from experiences and you can improve both yourself and
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things
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the things
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that you are doing.

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task response
Task response: State a clear position at once and keep it through the essay. Expand on why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with more precise ideas. Add a stronger final verdict.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use a simple plan. Put one idea in each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Use linking words to show order but do not overdo them.
content
Clear stance that benefits outweigh the costs.
structure
Good use of opposite sides with 'On the one hand / On the other hand'
structure
Intro and conclusion present
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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