IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Art classes, such as paintng and drawing, art as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

It is often argued that
art
Use synonyms
 lessons,
such
Linking Words
 as paintings and drawings, are considered to be significant for the
development
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 , similar to other academic
.
Check wording
subjects.
show examples
Hence
Linking Words
, people argue that schools should include
art
Use synonyms
 courses in their curriculum. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as they promote cognitive
development
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and creativity among
children
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, engaging in artwork plays a vital role in developing important skills
such
Linking Words
 as learning and critical thinking.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because when painting, they learn how to make wise choices about colours in order to make their painting more attractive. By doing
this
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 learn to solve complex challenges that arise, which helps them to develop their critical-thinking skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study on
children
Use synonyms
's
development
Use synonyms
 shows that every child should take part in creative works, as it improves their thinking ability, and memory attention, which is crucial for their
development
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 achieving academic success.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that
such
Linking Words
 classes are essential for developing their cognitive ability.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 activities
also
Linking Words
 enhance their imagination.
In other words
Linking Words
, painting provokes their thoughts
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and creativity to make their
art
Use synonyms
 look unique and meaningful.
In addition
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 works allow the young ones to express their non-verbal feelings and emotions through abstract drawing.
This
Linking Words
 creative ability expands their brain neuroplasticity, which in turn improves their brain
development
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study shows that
children
Use synonyms
 who take part in
art
Use synonyms
 classes often achieve higher grades in complex subjects
such
Linking Words
 as mathematics and science. In conclusion, many people argue that activities
such
Linking Words
 as painting and drawing are equally important as other subjects,so they must be added to the school curriculum. I strongly agree that
such
Linking Words
 activities have significant benefits in terms of
children
Use synonyms
's
development
Use synonyms
 by improving their abilities,
such
Linking Words
 as imagination and critical thinking, thereby achieving success in academics.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clearer about your view from the start. State your stance in the first sentence and show one or two small counter ideas, then finish with a strong ending that restates your view.
strength
You take a clear view and stay on the topic.
structure
The plan is easy to follow, with a beginning, middle, and end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Creativity
  • Emotional expression
  • Cultural awareness
  • Fine motor skills
  • Spatial awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Therapeutic activity
  • Inclusive environment
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Attention to detail
What to do next:
Look at other essays: