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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Few people devote time to hoobies. Say why this is the case and what effects this has on individuals and society

Nowadays, very few
people
Use synonyms
 dedicate their
time
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 to
hobbies
Use synonyms
 because of the demands of life and a lack of interest.
This
Linking Words
 development is negatively affecting individuals' health and destroying relations in society.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses some of the reasons for
people
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 choosing to focus on other areas of life, and the effects of
such
Linking Words
 choices on them and society. First and foremost, the contemporary world has increasing demands for
work
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 and economic activity, which limit individuals' engagement with leisure activities. With busy schedules, pending due dates, and multiple commitments in public and domestic spheres, many,
such
Linking Words
 as working parents, find the opportunities for participating in their loved
hobbies
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 dwindling.
In addition
Linking Words
, others quickly lose interest in
hobbies
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,
such
Linking Words
 that they are so absorbed in their
work
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, even during their free
time
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.
This
Linking Words
 is usually exemplified by company executives and academics in many places of the world. The challenge with
this
Linking Words
 trend is that it leads to declining health over
time
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 as
people
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 avoid activities
such
Linking Words
 as sport, which are known to boost physical and mental health.
Likewise
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,
this
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 practice lowers the chances for individuals to meet in social spaces where intimate interactions occur
,
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apply
show examples
 and ultimately weakens social ties.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason why most men in industrialised economies are said to be unhappy despite being financially endowed, and it proves that leisure is vital for promoting healthy relationships. In conclusion, nowadays,
people
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 devote less
time
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 to
hobbies
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 because they are fully consumed by demanding paid and domestic
work
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, leaving them drained and uninterested in other things.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon leads to negative effects on individual
wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 and social relationships. It is crucial to create a balance between
work
Use synonyms
 and life so as to create healthier living conditions.

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improvement
Use a clear topic sentence to start each paragraph.
improvement
Keep to one main idea in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like and, but, so.
improvement
Add one clear example for each idea to show the point more.
tip
Keep a calm, formal tone throughout the essay.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It shows both reasons and effects.
coherence
Some linking words help the flow of ideas.
The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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