Some people believe that children should participate in organized sports, while others think free play is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The debate surrounding whether
children
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derive greater benefit from
organized
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organised
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sports or free play has intensified as parents and educators seek optimal developmental approaches.
Although
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proponents of structured programs
emphasize
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emphasise
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discipline and skill
acquisition
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acquisition,
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while
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advocates of unstructured play highlight creativity and autonomy, a nuanced examination reveals that neither approach is inherently superior. Those
favoring organized
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favouring organised
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sports contend that structured programs provide irreplaceable developmental advantages. Not only do team athletics cultivate essential collaborative skills, but they
also
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instill
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instil
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respect for authority and systematic thinking—qualities that prove invaluable in academic and professional settings.
Moreover
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, qualified coaching ensures
children
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develop proper techniques
while
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minimizing
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minimising
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injury risks. Research consistently demonstrates that participation in structured athletic programs correlates with improved cardiovascular health, enhanced self-esteem, and stronger social networks among young participants.
Conversely
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, proponents of free play highlight developmental benefits that structured environments cannot adequately replicate. When
children
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engage in self-directed activities without adult oversight, they exercise cognitive flexibility and creative problem-solving in authentic contexts.
This
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autonomy fosters intrinsic motivation rather than dependence on external validation, potentially cultivating lifelong engagement with physical activity.
Furthermore
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, psychological research indicates that excessive structure in childhood may inadvertently suppress creativity and increase anxiety, suggesting that free play serves crucial developmental functions. In conclusion,
while
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organized
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organised
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sports undoubtedly develop discipline and collaborative competencies, and free play nurtures creativity and emotional intelligence, the most effective approach integrates both modalities.
Consequently
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, parents and educators should provide
children
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with diverse opportunities encompassing structured athletics and unstructured exploration, enabling holistic development rather than privileging one pathway over another.

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overall
The essay answers the task well and finds a clear view.
task
Add more small facts or real example to back up big idea.
coherence
Break long sentences into two or three small lines for easy reading.
coherence
Use link words well to show how men and ideas go from one to the next.
coherence
Keep each paragraph with one main idea and keep a strong tie to your view.
grammar
Check word choice to keep simple and clear.
structure
Clear plan with intro and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of contrast and linking phrases.
content
Your view is clear and taken in the end.
Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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