IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of women members of parliament in 5 nations from Europe between 2000 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 UK experienced the highest increase between the five countries, and ended the
period
Use synonyms
 with the same figure as Belgium.
While
Linking Words
 the other 3 nations increased slightly.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Germany started the
period
Use synonyms
 with the highest
percentage
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 of female members and increased slightly
overall
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
during the
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 to reach a
percentage
Use synonyms
 of around 37% by 2012. Italy was the second
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 in 2010 it overtook Germany and became the first. France had a
percentage
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 of 25% in 2000 and increased constantly to reach a
proportion
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 of approximately 32 per cent in 2012.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Belgium had a
percentage
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 of around 17% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, the
proportion
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 witnessed
volatility
Correct article usage
a volatility
show examples
period
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 and ended the
period
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 with a
percentage
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 of around 22%. The UK experienced the highest increase
starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
show examples
 the
period
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 with a
proportion
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 of about 4%, and
ended
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up with around 23%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, period, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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