IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the world is becoming more competitive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals should be used to
this
Linking Words
 rat race. Some people believe that it is more important to fund the elite athletes to participate in national competitions. It has sparked a debate that some argue
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is more worthwhile to support young children to enhance their
skills
Use synonyms
. In my view, I partially agree with
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
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 view and would give reasons in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, investing money
for
Change preposition
in
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 elite sportspersons
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 beneficial to one's country. They proudly represent the nation at the national platforms
such
Linking Words
 as
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
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 and
football
Correct article usage
the football
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world cup
Fix capitalization
World Cup
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.
However
Linking Words
, these participations cost heaps of money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 one might not afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Meanwhile, if they are able to win the match,
its
Use the right word
it's
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 a good recognition for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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his
Correct pronoun usage
him
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 and
also
Linking Words
 the country as well.
Its
Use the right word
It's
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 a win-win situation, so both the government and
athlete
Correct article usage
the athlete
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 would have benefits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should fund sports programs at
school
Correct article usage
the school
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levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
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 to
enlight
Verb problem
enlighten
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 the
skills
Use synonyms
 and talents of young children. Children are the lifeblood of the nation. Empowering them is
utmost
Correct word choice
apply
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essential, because they would represent the country in
near
Correct article usage
the near
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 future.
Additionally
Linking Words
, with those sports
programs
Add a comma
programs,
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 they would receive the ability to develop
skills
Use synonyms
 like teamwork, leadership and adaptability
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are very valuable during their entire life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, shaping their
skills
Use synonyms
 at a very young age would be advantageous rather than supporting him
later
Correct article usage
a later
show examples
 stage. In conclusion, considering the above facts, I believe that it is much more worthwhile to encourage youngsters to take up sports and
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 them to succeed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future competitions.

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task
Be clear about your view in the first part of the essay and stick to it in all paragraphs.
grammar
Fix grammar errors, especially subject-verb form and pronoun use.
vocabulary
Use simple, common words and avoid long, hard words that may not be in the top 100.
content
Give more exact examples or facts to back up each point.
style
Check punctuation and keep sentences short to avoid run-on phrases.
structure
The essay has a clear two-side structure with a final position.
coherence
There are good linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
conclusion
Conclusion restates the view, which helps a sense of completion.
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