The growing of over weight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lesons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that an increasing number of health problems ,
such
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as obesity , often stress the public health care systems to diagnose
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and provide appropriate treatments. Some people believe that introducing extra sports lessons in the school curriculum is an effective way to tackle
this
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problem. In my opinion,
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I agree that
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an approach increases awareness among
children
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, there are other effective measures ,
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as imposing bans on processed
foods
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and organising educational campaigns.
To begin
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with, introducing sports lessons in the school curriculum brings awareness to
children
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to stay healthy.
This
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is mainly because when they engage in regular physical activities, it helps to keep them healthy and strong by burning more calories.
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, it is not evident that
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will prevent students from eating junk or processed
foods
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, which is the main cause of overweight problems.
As a result
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,
children
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may stay fit
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and active , but they remain unhealthy
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the consumption of more processed
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, which are high in saturated fat
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and salt to cause health issues.
For instance
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, a recent study revealed that engaging in physical activities alone does not guarantee that the young ones will not face obesity problems. It is a balanced approach that includes both a healthy diet
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and physical exercise.
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, imposing strict restrictions on processed
foods
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,
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and educational campaigns on healthy items are efficient measures to control
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issue.
This
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means that the government should impose strict bans on unhealthy
foods
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, which leads to a reduction in the availability of
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foods
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in markets. By doing
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, students will not have an option to choose sugary drinks in stores.
In addition
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, education campaigns can be arranged to educate
children
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on healthy eating habits, which enhances their knowledge about the detrimental impacts of
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packaged
foods
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.
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, Maholi is the only country that has placed restrictions on sugary
foods
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to control weight issues. In conclusion, some people believe that adding physical activities in school education is the best way to solve obesity issues. In my opinion,
such
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a growing concern must be tackled by placing strong restrictions on packaged food
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and educating
children
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regarding the impacts of unhealthy
foods
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to mitigate
this
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problem permanently.

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task
State your view in one clear line in the first paragraph.
task
Give clear main ideas in separate parts, and explain each with a simple example.
coherence
Use short, clear sentences. Avoid long mixed ideas in one sentence.
coherence
Use basic words and link words like First, Also, But, So to show order.
grammar
Check grammar and punctuation, and avoid wrong or fake names in examples.
structure
Make sure the final idea sums up your view.
organization
Clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
You give your view and some examples.
coherence
Some link words to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • healthcare system
  • strain
  • physical education
  • curriculum
  • well-being
  • lifestyle
  • nutrition education
  • sedentary
  • engaging
  • instilling values
  • burden
  • long-term impact
  • complemented
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