IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 decided to lessen their frequency of travelling by plane annually or even stop using
plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
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 as their choice of transportation altogether.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues that despite its
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
, the advantage is far more beneficial, especially in terms of lessening the danger of global warming caused by
carbon
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
..
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 On the
one
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 hand, 
airline
Correct article usage
the airline
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 business is
one
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 of the most important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the global economy. Not only that it
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 us connect to every part of the world,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 an implicit determinant of how a country is thriving economically.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 outbreak, every airport, either international or domestic,
are
Wrong verb form
was
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 shut down.
Consequently
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,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon produces an effect of an abrupt stop in the economy, with no
people
Use synonyms
 travelling in and out of the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if great numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 decide to stop flying altogether,
this
Linking Words
 will undoubtedly weaken the economy in the area.
On the other hand
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,
airplane
Use the right word
aeroplanes
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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one
Use synonyms
 of the highest
contributor
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contributors
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for
Change preposition
to
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emissions
Use synonyms
 in the atmosphere and
even
Verb problem
are even
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 predicted to intensify in the following years. To illustrate,
while
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 person flying may not produce too much
carbon
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footprints
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footprint
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, several
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 flying in different
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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 will definitely contribute
tremendous
Correct article usage
a tremendous
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 amount of
carbon
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 to the atmosphere.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
stacked up
Verb problem
accumulated
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carbon
Use synonyms
 will worsen
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming if concrete actions are not taken by personal movements and by the authorities.
Thus
Linking Words
, reducing the number of times flying is a small individual action that will help lessen the
carbon
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in the earth's atmosphere layers, but will make
huge a
Correct word order
a huge
show examples
 difference if it is done collectively. In conclusion, despite the negative effect of not using
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 from the economic perspective, the environmental positive effect is very beneficial. The lessening of aircraft's
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprints
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 significantly worsens
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming
clearly
Punctuation problem
, clearly
show examples
 outweighs the drawbacks.

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task response
State your main view in the first paragraph and keep it clear.
coherence
Add a clear topic sentence for each paragraph.
development of ideas
Explain each idea with a specific example and a small reason.
grammar
Check grammar and fast word use so the line is easy to read.
coherence
Use simple link words to connect ideas, such as also, but, however.
structure
Finish with a short, firm end that repeats your idea.
task response
The essay shows a clear view and keeps to the topic.
development
It gives a real example (COVID) as a reason.
coherence
Two sides are shown, so balance is clear.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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