IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that important things in life are mostly free or can’t be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often argued by
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of people that crucial things in
life
Use synonyms
 that are free of cost cannot be purchased with
money
Use synonyms
. I personally
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the basics of
life
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as happiness, love, inner peace, and good relationships, cannot be bought. To commence with, values like emotional support and healthy relations are most important to be happy in
life
Use synonyms
. These
valuse
Correct your spelling
values
 do not come with the
money
Use synonyms
, they are fulfilled if a person is most satisfied in
life
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 and develops through time.
For example
Linking Words
, a wealthy person may feel lonely if they do not have meaningful relationships,
whereas
Linking Words
 someone with an average income can live a satisfied
life
Use synonyms
 because of having a supportive family and friends.
Similarly
Linking Words
, personal values
such
Linking Words
 as kindness, sharing and self-respect cannot be purchased , yet they come from
inner
Correct article usage
the inner
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 soul and experience of
life
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.
In addition
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, there are some valuable parts of
life
Use synonyms
 that are either free or partly influenced by
money
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.
Although
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 good physical and mental health somewhat depends on how
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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rich the person is
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 not fully reliant on it.
For instance
Linking Words
, many wealthy individuals suffer from depression or any other diseases
due to
Linking Words
 long
wroking
Correct your spelling
working
 hours, poor diet, lack of exercise
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
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, people with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 modest salary who exercise daily and
naintain
Correct your spelling
maintain
 a balanced routine often enjoy better
overall
Linking Words
 health. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 is important and sometimes necessary to accomplish goals in
life
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the things like love, health, meaningful relations
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 peace of mind are mostly free and cannot be bought.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.

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grammar
Use correct spell and fix big word mistakes like 'valuse' and 'naintain'. Clean up text.
organization
Make one idea per paragraph. Start with a simple topic sentence and then add a short example.
content
Keep your ideas clear. Say why money can’t buy happiness, love, and peace. Give a simple real example.
style
Use simple words only. Do not use hard long words or phrases.
lexicon
Check spelling of health, working, maintain, value, relations.
strength
The essay shows a clear view and stance.
strength
There is a idea about love, health and peace that money cannot buy.
strength
The layout has an introduction, body and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • free
  • buy
  • money
  • love
  • family
  • friend
  • time
  • health
  • happiness
  • memory
  • trust
  • care
  • kindness
  • education
  • opportunity
  • security
  • safety
  • life
  • value
  • effort
  • choice
  • joy
  • problem
  • meaning
  • character
  • feelings
  • support
  • risk
  • peace
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