IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that governments should focus on investing in public transportation systems rather than building new roads for private cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

The question of whether the authorities should implement in investing in public transportation
than
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rather than
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 building new roads
private
Change preposition
for private
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 cars has sparked a significant amount of debate in recent years.
While
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 some people believe that
this
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 trend brings various drawbacks, I completely disagree with
this
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 notion and support the idea of focusing on investing in public transportation.
This
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 is primarily because it leads to supporting disadvantaged groups, and
furthermore
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, it contributes to improving
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of
life
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. On the one hand, the primary reason why I support
this
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 idea is that it leads to supporting disadvantaged groups.
This
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 is because public services raise living standards, which
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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 a vital role in enhancing the situation for many individuals.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 approach assists people in achieving better results in their daily lives.
For example
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, welfare programs help poor families.
Consequently
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,
it is clear that
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this
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 trend leads to
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 outcome for society.
On the other hand
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, another significant advantage of
this
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 idea is that
improving
Wrong verb form
it improves
show examples
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of
life
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that public services raise living standards, leading to a positive impact on the community.
Moreover
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, the authorities can improve the
quality
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 of
life
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 by supporting
such
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 initiatives.
For instance
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, spending on education and healthcare benefits society. In conclusion,
although
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 some people focus on the disadvantages, I firmly believe that focusing on investing in public transportation is highly beneficial.
This
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 is because supporting disadvantaged groups and improving
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of
life
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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enhances the
overall
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quality
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 of
life
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 in society.

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Task response
Start with a clear view at once and keep it in mind as you write.
Coherence
Show both sides of the task and say how much you agree or disagree with facts tied to transport policy.
Examples
Use real and clear examples that tie to how public transport policy helps people.
Language
Fix big grammar and word use. Use short, clear sentences and avoid long errors.
Task response
You show a clear view of the topic.
Coherence
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show balance.
Structure
There is an opening and a close in the writing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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