IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling. there is an growing demand for more flights . Whats is the problem does this have an environemnt ? What meausre could be taken to dolve the problem ?

There is an increase in the demand for flights
due to
Linking Words
 an ever-growing tourism and the influx of travellers. It has caused significant impacts on our
environment
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
pollution
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
habitat
Use synonyms
disruption
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both the problems of the phenomenon and the measures that can be taken to mitigate
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one main problem is that it will cause environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
gases that are emitted by burning fossil
fules
Correct your spelling
fuels
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to environmental impacts
such
Linking Words
 as
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it will impact the quality of
air
Use synonyms
 that we breathe and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
health related
Use the right word
health-related
show examples
 problems
such
Linking Words
 as asthma
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and respiratory problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it disrupts the
habitat
Use synonyms
 of living beings in the surrounding areas of airports.
In other words
Linking Words
, the sound of
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
 often
disrupt
Correct subject-verb agreement
disrupts
show examples
 the
habitat
Use synonyms
 of living beings, which may lead to
habitat
Use synonyms
disruption
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will cause an imbalance in the ecosystem.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent report revealed that
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry and
air
Use synonyms
 travel
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 contributed to 25% of
overall
Linking Words
pollution
Use synonyms
. There are two effective solutions to the problem of growing tourism and the demand for flights. One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem is to ensure that governments can increase airfares, which
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from
further
Linking Words
 travelling. By doing
this
Linking Words
, less number of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
air
Use synonyms
 travel, and the number of
visitiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 who visit the
tourist
Use synonyms
 destinations will
also
Linking Words
 be reduced,
while
Linking Words
 protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
. Another method of dealing with
this
Linking Words
 issue is that officials can impose high taxes on
tourist
Use synonyms
 destinations for causing
pollution
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
habitat
Use synonyms
disruption
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 solution will deter
people
Use synonyms
 from making profits by promoting overtourism. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 an increase in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visit
tourist
Use synonyms
 places has significantly increased the need for more flights.
This
Linking Words
 has caused detrimental impacts on our
environment
Use synonyms
 in terms of
pollution
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
habitat
Use synonyms
disruption
Use synonyms
 , which can be mitigated by the following measures
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as increasing the flight ticket rates
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and imposing taxes on
tourist
Use synonyms
spots
Punctuation problem
spots,
show examples
 in order to protect our
environment
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear in your opening line about your view and keep two main ideas in the essay.
coherence
Use simple words to show order, like first, also, then, and finally.
task response
Add more real facts or numbers to back up each point.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes to make meaning clear.
vocabulary
Use a few different easy words for travel terms so you do not repeat too much.
structure
The essay has a clear shape with an intro, body and end.
content
It covers both problems and ways to fix them.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: