IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting a doctor. Is it a positive development or a negative development?

In the modern world, a lot of people with
health
Use synonyms
 issues are using alternative medicine and treatments
instead
Linking Words
 of consulting a doctor. I firmly believe that it is a negative development, because these
methods
Use synonyms
 can be harmful to a
health
Use synonyms
, and
self-medication
Use synonyms
 cannot bring a positive effect. The first main reason is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 unknown effect of unsafe treatments. When individuals use risky treatment
methods
Use synonyms
, there cannot be a guarantee that they will definitely
cure
Wrong verb form
be cured
show examples
 from dangerous diseases or lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive consequences,
such
Linking Words
 as enhanced well-being and improved mental
health
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the usage of these
methods
Use synonyms
 can not only lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative outcomes, but
also
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be difficult to change. The second key risk is that
self-medication
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 may lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful outcomes. Since some people lack important medical knowledge, they should not practice
self-medication
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, as it can lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potentially harmful results.
For example
Linking Words
, taking the wrong pills can worsen one's
health
Use synonyms
 or fail to cure the illness.
Thus
Linking Words
,
self-medication
Use synonyms
 is inappropriate and risky for
health
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. In conclusion, I
strongly
Verb problem
am strongly
show examples
 concerned that it is better to visit a doctor and receive professional treatment than to use unsafe treatment
methods
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 and engage in
self-medication
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Take one idea in each paragraph and give a short fact or example for it.
task response
Add a short view that may go against your view and then end with why you are right.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentence in each paragraph and keep each line simple.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with small words like and, but, so, therefore, for example.
argument
Clear view and firm stand on the issue.
structure
The essay uses a plan with three parts: intro, 2 body, conclusion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
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