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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

The main argument in
favor
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favour
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 of
this
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 idea is that public figures act as role models for their followers, and their positive actions might be greatly imitated by their
fans
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. Specifically, whether they be sports stars or popular actors, they generally have millions of
fans
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 all over the world. If journalists report some
celebrities
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 actively engaging in charitable causes, namely advocating educational equality or making donations to support needy
people
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 in destitute areas, it is highly possible that a significant number of followers will follow their
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behaviors
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 and devote themselves to Philanthropy.
Similarly
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, from the legal perspective, reasonable
media
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 exposure of
celebrities
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’ personal lives can serve as an essential deterrent. To be more exact, many newspapers mention that many
celebrities
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 demonstrate extremely improper
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behaviors
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behaviour
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 when they are out of the spotlight. A certain number of athletes are fond of gambling, resulting in huge debts of millions of dollars;
Likewise
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, in China, taking drugs is against the law.
However
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, some actors were arrested since they were serious drug addicts. Worse still, a prominent example is the 2018 scandal involving Chinese actress Fan Bingbing, whose tax evasion was
initially
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 revealed by paparazzi before being fully prosecuted by authorities. As long as
media
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 scrutiny exists,
celebrities
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 should pay attention and regulate their
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behaviors
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. Despite all the aforementioned benefits that
media
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 scrutiny can bring, it has to be admitted that it is hardly practical or advisable. In terms of impracticability, we have to take into consideration that exposing
celebrities
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’ privacy is not lawful, since all
the
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apply
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citizens have access to privacy rights in a legal sense.
In addition
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,some
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 are irrational
and
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, and
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 they may demonstrate extreme or dangerous
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behaviors
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.
For instance
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, if they are informed of their idols’ residences, they may stalk them on a regular basis and take secret photos to share with other
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, thereby gaining a high sense of achievement and satisfaction. What’s more, some
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 even report the school locations of
celebrities
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’ children, which may pose a huge threat to their safety and harm their mental health. Following on from that, opponents may
also
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 argue that there are many better alternatives for ordinary
people
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 to have a more comprehensive understanding of
celebrities
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. One of them could be reading biographies. Apparently, many entrepreneurs, including Elon Musk and Tim Cook, publish their biographies for the
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 to better know their life stories. By reading
such
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 books, ordinary readers can be well-informed about the spirits and
unique
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the unique
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 secrets
why
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of why
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 these famous
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 can achieve
such
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 a huge success.
Also
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, watching interviews or podcasts can serve the same functions. Collectively, these strategies mentioned above are generally more suggested and practical than making public famous
people
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’s personal lives. With all
this
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 in mind, I would conclude that
although
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 there are valid reasons why
media
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 scrutiny can both encourage followers to emulate positive deeds and act as a deterrent to potential improper
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behaviors
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behaviours
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 for famous
people
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, the opponents may sound more convincing. I would recommend other
more
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, more
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 reasonable and practical measures to help
fans
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 better understand
celebrities
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.

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task
Begin with a clear view in the opening line and keep it in mind to the end.
style
Use short, plain sentences. Avoid long, hard-to-read lines.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, so to help flow.
structure
Finish with a short ending that restates your view.
examples
Give one or two clear examples that fit the point you make and explain them.
content
The essay shows a fair view and has many ideas.
coherence
Links between ideas feel smooth most of the time.
task
The end shows a new way to help fans learn about stars.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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