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Writing Samples
Band 4

Throughout the years, education has incredibly changed for several purposes. Today, students have an option to study online rather than attend classes. The number of students wanting to study online instead of on campus increases every year. This essay will discuss the causes of this and solutions to it.

Throughout the years, education has
incredibly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
changed
for
Rephrase
significantly for
show examples
 several purposes. Today,
students
Use synonyms
 have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 option to study online rather than attend
classes
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. The number of
students
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 wanting to study online
instead
Linking Words
 of on campus increases every year.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes of
this
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 and
solutions
Correct article usage
the solutions
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 to it. There are many purposes for
students
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to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
 attend
classes
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 on campus.
First,
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some
students
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 may find attending lectures extremely boring.
Such
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students
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 seek
for
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apply
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entertainment within education
but
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, but
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institutes
Correct article usage
the institutes
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 do nothing about it.
Secondly
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, some
students
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 find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
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difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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with attending
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to attend
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classes
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. They often don’t have a source of
transportation
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, and they deal with challenges to get to the building. Some don’t have a car
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while
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, while
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 others can’t afford
transportation
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 costs.
Finally
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, the major reason
students
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 don’t attend
classes
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 is because of strict timings. Universities put very precise early
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classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
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 timings for
students
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,
such
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 as
classes
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 that start at 7 AM.
As a result
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, scholars are less interested
to attend
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in attending
show examples
classes
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 in educational institutions. There are
also
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 multiple solutions
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such
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to such
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. To start with, universities can start providing sources of entertainment for learners.
For example
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, provide activities
such
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 as board games or sports.
This
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 way
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students
Punctuation problem
, students
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 will be motivated to attend daily.
Moreover
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, institutions can provide
transportation
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 for
students
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for
Change preposition
at
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 a decreased price.
Instead
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 of
students
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 suffering to afford
transportation
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, the university provides buses specifically for
students
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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 will stop worrying about
transportation
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, educators can adjust their timings for
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
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 sake. Rather than a class starting at 7
AM
Add a comma
AM,
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 it can be adjusted to 8 AM.
This
Linking Words
 will ensure
students
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 are more likely to attend. In conclusion, every problem has a solution to it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 now
students
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 can attend with no doubts.
Student’s
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Students’
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 environmental
condition
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conditions
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 are a huge cause
on
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of
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 their choices to attendance
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
. So, academies should improve their environment to ensure
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students
Check wording
students'
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 attendance.

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structure
Have a clear plan. Start with a short view of your topic and your stand in the intro.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Say a point, then add a small detail and a link to the next idea.
coherence
Use more link words to show how ideas lead to each other.
content
Give clear examples for each point, and name one way to fix it.
language
Check your grammar and spell, use short and simple sentences.
structure
Finish with a clear end that restates your view and one fix.
content
The essay shows the topic and try to talk about causes and fixes.
structure
The writer uses 'First', 'Second', 'Finally' to list ideas.
content
It gives some real ideas like transport and class time.
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