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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some parents guide their children's education towards specific careers, such as in engineering, medicine, or law. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child who has this kind of parental guidance?

There is no denying that the fact of
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parents
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parents'
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guidance
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 to their
childrens
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children
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 a vital role
especially
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, especially
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 in the field of
educations
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education
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.
This
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 approach can offer certain advantages,
it
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but it
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also
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 has notable disadvantages for the child. One major advantage of parental
guidance
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 toward
special
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apply
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a particular
career
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 is stability and security.
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Career
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Careers
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 like engineering, medicine, or law are often well respected and financially rewarding, which can provide the child with a stable future.
Parents
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 usually have more life
expierence
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experience
 and may understand which professions offer better job income. Their
guidance
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 can
therefore
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 help
children
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 avoid uncertain
career
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 paths and reduce the risk of unemployment.
In addition
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, having a clear direction from an early age can motivate
children
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 to focus on their studies and work harder to achieve
specifc
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specific
 goals.
However
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, there are
also
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 significant disadvantages to
this
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 approach. The most serious drawback is the lack of personal choice.
Children
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 who are pressured into careers
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that thay
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thay
Correct your spelling
they
 are not interested in may feel unhappy or stressed. Over time,
this
Linking Words
 dissatisfaction can lead to poor
performace
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performance
, loss of motivation, or even
meantal
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mental
 health problems. A
career
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choosen
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chosen
 to please
parents
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 rather than personal passion may
tot
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not
show examples
 be fulfilling in the long term. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 parental
guidance
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 toward specific careers can provide security, motivation, and support, it may
also
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 restrict a child's freedom and personal growth. A balanced approach, where
parents
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 offer advice but respect
there
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their
show examples
children
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's
intersets
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interests
 and
ability
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abilities
show examples
, is likely to be the most beneficial.

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organization
Make a clear plan before you write. Put the main idea first and then give two sides with simple points. Finish with a short view.
coherence
Use easy words and small links like and, but, also, however to connect ideas.
content
Give a real small example for each point. This helps the reader see your point.
accuracy
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common errors like expierence, meantal, their/there/they're.
content strength
The topic is clear and the answer shows both sides.
structure
There is a clear end with a conclusion.
coherence
Some good link words show flow of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • parental guidance
  • specialization
  • high performing careers
  • competitive environments
  • skills and knowledge
  • exploration
  • interests
  • talents
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • passions
  • abilities
  • creativity
  • resentment
  • controlling
What to do next:
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