IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern world , some
people
Use synonyms
 think
museums
Use synonyms
 should be enjoyable places to entertain
people
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that the purpose of
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 is to educate.In
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one the
Correct word order
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
museums
Use synonyms
 should be enjoyable for society.In other
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
word
Add a comma
word,
show examples
 some believe that seeing a historical thing might be something for fun and enjoying it .
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 these days, visiting
museums
Use synonyms
 is mostly for taking pictures and eating.
For instance
Linking Words
 , nowadays some of
Use synonyms
museums
Correct article usage
the museums
show examples
 in
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
founded
Verb problem
were founded
show examples
 for pleasure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 .
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think
museums
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 to educate and study about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history.
Hence
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many universities every day
doning
Correct your spelling
doing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trips for consideration and research.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 offer
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
 rewards to anyone who conducts useful research on anything in the museum.
For
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
liverpool university
Fix capitalization
Liverpool University
show examples
 in 2009
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
put 30,000 pounds
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 any beneficial study in the
museums
Use synonyms
. In
conlususion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there are no
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
 answers to
this
Linking Words
 question.On balance,
however
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly
believ
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
museums
Use synonyms
 must be for
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it might
expnds
Correct your spelling
expand
 the scope of
studys
Correct your spelling
studies
 in our community ,
therefore
Linking Words
 there will be a stronger academic
outout
Check wording
outcome that
show examples
 could help the world in the future, or rather , it improves
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 ambitions as well.

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task
Task Response: Start with a clear view. Say your view in the first part and again at the end. Build each side with one or two clear ideas.
coherence
Coherence and Cohesion: Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Begin each paragraph with a clear line about the point. Keep tenses the same.
grammar
Grammar and accuracy: Fix big errors like 'In this essay will discuss' and 'On the other hand . some people think'. Use short, simple sentences to avoid mistakes.
lexis
Vocabulary: Use easy words from high use list. Do not try hard words. Aim for clear meaning.
examples
Examples: Add one or two clear facts or dates to back your point. Make sure it links to your point.
idea
The essay shows two sides of the topic.
structure
It ends with a clear opinion.
examples
There is some real data or facts used.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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