IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays in some countries the number of children aged 15 and younger is increasing. What are the current and future effects of ever-increasing population?

These days
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 particular countries
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
quantity
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
 aged 15 and younger is increasing.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the current effects of
this
Linking Words
 increase and its potential impacts in the future. Nowadays,
population
Use synonyms
 growth among
children
Use synonyms
 is rising gradually
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it has detrimental effects in the modern world.
Firstly
Linking Words
, pressure on education systems will be unavoidable.
For instance
Linking Words
,
incline
Correct article usage
an incline
show examples
 in
population
Use synonyms
 among
children
Use synonyms
 will create overcrowding in classrooms and
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
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 schools will lack
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
even basic
teachers
Punctuation problem
teachers,
show examples
 let alone well-qualified ones.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 number of
children
Use synonyms
 will generate
need
Correct article usage
a need
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 for basic infrastructure
such
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 as housing or sanitation.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 families will
force
Wrong verb form
be forced
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 to demand extra houses from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will eventually create a mess for people who are responsible for
this
Linking Words
 field. More
importantly
Add a comma
importantly,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 unstoppable increase among
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 eventually has its huge
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 years. One of them
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 environmental strain
due to
Linking Words
 higher consumption and waste. Demand for both consuming and applying products will lead to starvation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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then
Linking Words
 has strong consequences. On top of that, risk of unemployment and poverty will be
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 implication.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if job creation does not keep up with the momentum country will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unemployment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 people will spend their lives
in
Change preposition
on
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streets
Correct article usage
the streets
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 without any
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 families will have no choice but to abandon their
children
Use synonyms
 because of
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack of
show examples
 money to sustain them.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 with
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 problems government encounters dangerous effects in future. In conclusion,
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
show examples
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 among
children
Use synonyms
 will create
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of problems like pressure in education and high demand for several infrastructures in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 day. As
this
Linking Words
 rise continues, it will be very problematic for countries to handle
this
Linking Words
 difficulty.

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task response
Plan your answer first. State your view in the intro. Then give two or three clear points with short, simple examples.
language
Check facts and word choice. Do not use wrong ideas like 'starvation'. Use safe ideas like crowding or money need.
coherence
Make links between ideas. Use words like first, next, also, but and finally to link.
language
Keep sentences short and clear. One idea per sentence.
structure
The essay has a clear start, a body and a end.
content
There are some examples given to back ideas.
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