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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, artificial intelligence development is very fast
,
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;
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 almost every day
new
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, new
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 technologies are invented.
Therefore
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, in the fullness of time, jobs like
vehicle
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drivers
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 will be replaced by
technologies
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technology
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. In my opinion, the invention of self-driving
cars
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 can have more advantages than disadvantages ,
such
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 as decreasing accident rates. On the one hand, if vehicles do not acquire
drivers
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 anymore in future,
people
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 won’t need to be good
drivers
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.
People
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 who have a problem with driving a
car
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 by themselves won’t need to get help from someone anymore.
For instance
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, lately, lots of companies have invented
driverless
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 vehicles that make
people
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’s lives more comfortable. It gives an opportunity to
people
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 who have problems with driving
cars
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.
Moreover
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, without a human driver, the
car
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 accidents caused by
humans’
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human’
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 wrong activity could diminish. Because of the fact that, they have sensors which detect foreign objects and move away from them.
In particular
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,
car
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 accidents are often caused by humans losing their attention
while
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 driving. As for
driverless
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cars
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, they can’t lose their attention.
On the other hand
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, with the invention of
driverless
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cars
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 unemployment rate will increase. Public
transport
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drivers
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,
as well as
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 chauffeurs, would lose their jobs.
For example
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,
In
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in
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 Mongolia,
If
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if
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 all public
transport
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vehicle
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drivers
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 were to become
driverless
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, there would have been thousands of unemployed
people
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. Public
transport
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vehicle
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drivers
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 are a significant part of all the employed
people
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 in Mongolia. In conclusion,
driverless
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vehicle
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 advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Driverless
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cars
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 give a great advantage to those unable to drive a
car
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.
Also
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, it decreases the number of accidents caused by humans. Unfortunately, it takes public
transport
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drivers
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' jobs away.

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task response
Make a clear plan before you write: intro, two body parts, and a short ending.
task response
State your view in the intro and keep it in the end.
coherence
Add more links to connect ideas in the body (use however, also, for example) to show relation and flow.
coherence
Give more full details for each point and link each idea back to your view.
grammar
Check grammar and use simpler words. Watch tense and word choice.
overall strength
The writer shares a clear view that driverless cars may bring more good than bad.
support
An example (Mongolia) is used to back a point.
structure
There is some use of contrast words to show two sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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