IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for may purposes besides making phones calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Smart telecommunication devices
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become more and more
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two decades and now its
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 for many
usage
Check wording
other uses
show examples
 other than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
making
phone
Use synonyms
 calls.
This
Linking Words
eassey dicsuss
Correct your spelling
essay discusses
 the
postitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 and negative
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of
smart
Use the right word
smartphones
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
, which
including
Replace the word
includes
show examples
 my own experiences.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Smart phones
Use the right word
smartphones
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 people to connect
easely
Correct your spelling
easily
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other devices using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different types of apps.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
 of my relatives live in other countries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the video calls
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 me to see them online.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 the some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
application helps me
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my studies during my university life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 TEAM or ZOOM helps me
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my office work.
Sometime its
Use the right word
Sometimes it's
show examples
 very
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to
use
Use synonyms
 than laptop or computer.
Thses
Correct your spelling
These
 are the positive
benifts
Correct your spelling
benefits
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
exepernce
Correct your spelling
experience
 with the
smart
Use the right word
smartphone
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I had some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
negative
benifites
Correct your spelling
benefits
due to
Linking Words
over usage
Correct your spelling
overusage
of the
smart
Use the right word
smartphone
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
.
Becouse
Correct your spelling
Because
 I used to check my
phone
Use synonyms
 every time without any calls or
text
Fix the agreement mistake
texts
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 have
addicted
Verb problem
become addicted
show examples
 to
check
Wrong verb form
checking
show examples
 all the social media using my
phone
Use synonyms
 before
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bed. No
Punctuation problem
, its
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 disturbing my sleep
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 had to
use
Use synonyms
specterculs
Correct your spelling
spectacles
due to
Linking Words
over spend
Verb problem
spending too much
show examples
 time on
Correct article usage
the degital
show examples
degital
Correct your spelling
digital
 screen.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
I
Punctuation problem
, I
show examples
had to spend
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my health development
as a result
Linking Words
 of usage of smart
Use synonyms
phone
Check wording
smartphone
show examples
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 mobile is very
importent
Correct your spelling
important
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days for every work
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as office, study
business
Punctuation problem
, business
show examples
 or personal. But
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 it
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be
Use synonyms
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 without
addited
Correct your spelling
addiction
 and not be
over
Use the right word
overused
show examples
use
Use synonyms
. If not
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 will give very bad results for your
helth
Correct your spelling
health
.

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structure
Use a clear plan: start with a short intro, then a body with one idea for each side, and finish with a short conclusion.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Check common words and fix mistakes in spelling and form.
content
Add more facts or details. Talk more on how phones help in study, work, and daily life. Give more examples.
cohesion
Use linking words to make flow. Words like also, but, for example, in addition help to connect ideas.
content
You try to talk about both sides and give a real example.
focus
There is a clear topic about phones and their use.
examples
Some real life use is shown, like video calls.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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