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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the percentage of females and males involved in housework (cooking, cleaning,
pet
Use synonyms
 care, and
house
Use synonyms
repairs
Use synonyms
). The second bar
chart
Use synonyms
 shows the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 each gender spends on each task each
day
Use synonyms
, measured in
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 tend to do cooking and cleaning,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 prefer
pet
Use synonyms
 caring and
house
Use synonyms
repairs
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the first
chart
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 who do cooking made up over 80%, which is the highest among all home tasks,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
men
Use synonyms
 was only 60%. Followed by the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 who do cleaning, at approximately 60%, which is 20% higher than that of
men
Use synonyms
. Regarding
pet
Use synonyms
 care, both
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 do the same amount, at 20% each gender.
Men
Use synonyms
 are likely to do more
house
Use synonyms
repairs
Use synonyms
 than
women
Use synonyms
, with 20% males,
while
Linking Words
 the females' data was only under 10%. The second
chart
Use synonyms
 (average
time
Use synonyms
 spent on housework by both genders) followed a similar pattern to the first
chart
Use synonyms
. As reported,
women
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 spend the most
time
Use synonyms
 cooking, with over 80
minutes
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 per
day
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, which is about 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 more than
men
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.
According to
Linking Words
 cleaning,
women
Use synonyms
 spend about 70
minutes
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 spend more than 40
minutes
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
. Both genders spend exactly 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 on
pet
Use synonyms
 care on a daily basis. Followed by males doing
house
Use synonyms
repairs
Use synonyms
, with slightly under 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 each
day
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 females take the least
time
Use synonyms
 doing those tasks

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, pet, house, repairs, time, day, minutes, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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